I am a sinner yet called by God.

Saint Peter (Hopeful) vs Judas Iscariot (Hopeless)

An inspiring story was shared by a friend of mine over the lunch. She was taught by her relative that there were two betrayers among twelve disciples of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Naturally, a frown was formed on my forehead and a question popped up in my mind, "Two traitors?"She explained that one was Judas Iscariot as we know and another one was surprisedly Saint Peter. It gradually made sense to me as he had promised Our Lord that he would not leave Him before three times denial. Even after Lord's Ascension, Saint Peter fled from Rome during the persecution. But he met Lord Jesus on the way and regretted his action. Then, he made a resolve and returned to Rome to die as the martyr. He hurt Our Lord again and again yet he trusted in the mercy and love of God after every repentance. It is exactly like the Prodigal Son. So my friend described him as the hopeful sinner. On the other hand, Judas Iscariot did not believe in the mercy and love of God. So he went out and hanged himself after betraying Our Lord and regretting his actions. Thus, my friend described him as the hopeless sinner.

At this moment, I was gathering all memories of lessons I learnt from my journey. I learnt that God's love is unlimited yet equal for every person on the earth. Even one sin does not decrease God's love for us. God does not keep account of our achievements but rather looks at the desires of our hearts. It is about us. The point is, "Do we love God?" Like Saint Peter, even though he failed God so many times, he still made an effort to decide to love God and return to Him. As the result, he became our first Pope of Catholic Church. For Judas, he failed to see the love of God due to the darkness of his sins blinding him and headed for the door of death. Have we made a decision to love God? Or do we want to continue to be blind and not trusting in the mercy and love of God? When I asked my spiritual director about the certain religious order, I remembered him telling me, "We are sinners yet called. Everyone looks at the Saints as the Saints but they don't describe themselves as the saints but rather the sinners."

Let me share another interesting story: Father Amoun of Nitria once came to see Father Anthony (Saint Anthony the Great) and said to him, "Since my rule is stricter than yours, how is it that your name is better known than mine is?" The latter answered, "It is because I love God more than you."

So which one do you want to be: hopeful or hopeless?