Deny thyself, take up the cross and follow Jesus.

I understand everyone has their own cross to carry and follow Jesus. But no one ever has thought of the cross in the priesthood. Perhaps they thought it would be too heavy for them because there are much hardship and sufferings in the way of the priesthood. For me, I really want to sacrifice for God and gather His people for Him. I am not sure whether it is my calling but I want to study in priesthood.

"An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's work, because he is trying to please the Lord." (1 Cor 7:32)

For Jesus said,

"I am the good shepherd. As the Father knows me and I know the Father, in the same way I know my sheep and they know me. And I am willing to die for them. There are other sheep which belong to me that are not in this sheep pen. I must bring them too; they will listen to my voice, and they will become one flock with one Shepherd." (John 10:14 - 16)

Those verses captured my heart and haunted my mind. I had the rite of acceptance the day before. I received the crucifix and bible. I was so happy because I finally got accepted into the Christ after the period of waiting for 3 years. I remembered that my hands and legs kept shaking while I was receiving the bible from the priest at the altar because of overwhelming excitement filling my whole body. Afterwards, I headed towards another church to meet the deaf community. After some times, I followed four hearing people after the group being dispersed for home. Just outside the food court, we were engaging in the conversation. Out of blue, a tanned man in his 30s, greeted me, signing the hands in the air. A complete stranger. As we found out, he was half hearing and half deaf. But he seemed to be like professional in the sign language. He had joined the deaf Christian group for some times but left because he was not invited to join them in their activities like watching movie, shopping etc. He had been waiting for long time in vain. So he decided to leave. He and I were in the same situation. We introduced him to our deaf community. Suddenly, it hit on my mind. God was giving me a chance to evangelize him since he was the lost sheep. There are many sheep out there waiting for the Lord. So I must work hard on my faith to gather the deaf people for the Lord.

Deaf community

It was in the late afternoon the day before when my feet made their way to the renowned church. And my eyes were greeting the strangers who greeted me back with their eyes as our mutual friend introduced us with one another. As the Novena prayer service began, the two interpreters from our group were moving their hands in the air to make the hand signs while the audience from the same group responded with the same gestures. They were praying and singing hymn in the form of sign language. My heart was filled with joy and gladness because I had found my brothers and sisters who are living in the same world as mine. I have found someone whom I can talk freely to.

Our group made the way to the nearby shopping centre to have the tea break. I found myself feasting on the meal for early dinner while we were having the chat. No one never knows how happy I was feeling.

In the soft evening, I went to the famous eating place with two friends to meet their classmates and have the dinner. Again, new faces were added to my social circle. What was most memorable was the frog porridge for the dinner. Naturally, I found it heavenly delicious as the frogs were my favourite preys. We found ourselves in the lan (known as Local Area Network) place to play the popular game after the food desert. We had so much fun that we had to go home at the stroke of the midnight.

Miracle

The day before, it was the last day of the event I was volunteering. My heart was filled with the delight because I had fulfilled the mission to serve others. In the evening, my mum finally took me to see the doctor to treat my acnes on my face. I had been waiting for long long time just to see the doctor and get the cream and medicine for the allergy. I thanked God for it. Before I realized it, I consumed one tablet before I headed to the church to help out the decoration for this night's event. By the time I reached there, the effects of the medicine already took place and my eyes were overwhelmed by the heaviness and my head felt as if I was in high spirit. But I managed to endure through the night despite the drowsiness. Those quotes were teasing my brain when my hands picked up a book from the shelf and flipped the first page and showed it to my eyes.

"Coincidence is God's way of performing miracles anonymously." - Anon

"Miracles have nothing to do with reason. Miracles contradict reason, overturn reason, make game of reason, they strike clean across mere human deserts, and deliver and save where they will. If they made sense, they would not be miracles. - Ellis Peters, A Morbid Taste for Bones, Macmillan, London, 1977

Another reflection

In the soft evening two days ago, I was on the way to the church after helping out at the organisation. On the road populated by the Indians, my eyes caught the sight of three elder motorcyclists as I was waiting for the green traffic light in the car. They were two Indian men and one Chinese man in between. One Indian man called out to another while the Chinese man thought he was called and greeted him. When the Chinese man found out that the Indian man was talking to another one, he looked embarrassed and moved forward so that the two men could have better conservation. Suddenly, I noticed invisible triangle shape between three men. But I did not pay much attention to it. So I went ahead and spent time in the church. When I returned home and hit the shower, the young three sprouts standing like the tree in the hole of the water tub, caught my eyes. How could they survive without the soil over there?

This morning, I was invited by the photographer to have the bubble tea because he did not have the breakfast. So my schoolmate and I went with him. Peppermint green tea tasted heavenly and refreshing. I thanked God because it helped me to kick the coffee out of my life successfully. Yes, coffee is my official enemy now.
In the afternoon, I was asked by the sculpture assistant to accompany him as he was going to shop for the facial things. So I went with him and the same schoolmate. When the school bus passed by, the students inside were waving hands furiously at us. As expected, they were greeting the sculpture assistant because he was well known as the extra in the local drama shows.
In the night, after viewing the exhibitions, I was having a dinner with the two friends. As I was walking home from the train station, it suddenly flashed in my mind. Number three! Three men, three sprouts, three of us. I did not know what I was thinking but I was thinking of God. And the verses answered me.

"Remain united to Me, and I will remain united to you. You cannor bear fruit unless you remain in Me."

(John 15:4)

"Whoever remains in Me, and I in Him, will bear much fruit for you can do nothing without me."

(John 15:5)

I was recalling that I was having a chat with the priest and new acquaintance last night. The priest remarked that I was very brave because I was deaf yet dared to pursue my desire. Again, the verses reminded me.

"Go! I am sending you like lambs among wolves."

(Luke 10:3)

"You are like salt for all mankind. You are like light for the whole world. Your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in Heaven."

(Matthew 5:13,14,16)

Spirit Song

I often listen to this song because I am able to hear the music and voice. It moves my heart to the large extend. To my surprise, it was sang during the holy communion at the mass today. I thanked God for letting me witness the beautiful church and introducing two new acquaintances to my social circle today. I feel blessed totally because as I approached the priest, he had prayed over my ears and blessed me with the oil which my friend described it as the healing balm.

As they sang, my heart was moving. "Oh Jesus, come and fill your lambs. Oh Jesus, come and fill your lambs."

When I randomly searched for the verse to match with my birthday, I came across this verse.

"May you always be joyful in your union with the Lord. I say it again: rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)

A strength in Jesus

Even after the assessments, I found myself still being a busy bee working hard. I was supposed to be very free. But it was not true. How ironic is it! I am renovating my house now. It has been three days and it is still incomplete. It was because I was occupied in other activities too. Those are the charismatic sessions in the church and volunteering the sculpture carnival. It is very tiring but I have plenty of energy in my batteries. It comes from Lord Jesus! Praise the Lord. Amen. There are more other activities in my plans too. I am sure I can finish them all because I have the strength in Lord Jesus whom I trust with all my heart. Yes!

"I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me." (Philippians 4:13 Good News)

A companion

I am sure most of Catholics know the meaning of the sponsors in the spiritual journey. Usually, they are much older and of same sex of the inquirers. But this time, a pretty girl of same age became my sponsor. Some of the classmates congratulated me with a big smile flashing from ear to ear, on their faces. I was hoping that they were not entertaining some wrong ideas. My old friend teased me that we could fall in love one day. It struck me seriously because we will have to spend a lot of time together on the spiritual things as the sponsor-inquirer relationship to maintain the better relationship with God. And I was yearning for the companion.

Surprisingly, we came from the different schools which connected to each other, not mentioning we are neighbours! Little wonder, I find it a bit easier to communicate with her. I am not sure whether I had encountered her in my young days. She has most of what I looked for in my partner. But fortunately my heart is still stubborn despite its weak spots. I hope we will become more like brother and sister in the future. Lord, please do not let me be distracted in seeking You with all my heart. Amen.

Freedom

Storm had turned into a beautiful summer which I had been working blood and sweat for three years. Assessments ended three days ago. Yes, I am finally free. Just one round to the graduation that is complete freedom a few months away! Yohohoho...

I had a great time yesterday. I caught a movie with two church pals. It was fantastic and marvel because it was none other than my favourite martial arts movie! Of course, I found myself unable to control the volcano of the excitement exploding in my heart. I even considered watching it one more time. One of my pals had to leave after the movie. My other friend and I decided to stay back and played the arcade games to kill time because we were waiting for other three friends who caught the different movie at the same cinema. I thanked God because I had so much fun and smooth journey to the church.

After the evening mass, we were having a weekly session as usual. It left me a deep impression which led to the critical thinking now. I was wondering whether God chose me to be anointed because I felt that I had all the responsibilities of the priest to sacrifice, prophet to proclaim the Good News and the king to serve as I know how to reach to the deaf people while the normal people cannot interact with them. It is true that the spiritual journey is simple yet complicated. But it does not matter as I strive to bear much fruits in Jesus to glorify God.

"Whoever remains in Me and I in him, will bear much fruit; you can do nothing without Me. My Father's glory is shown by your bearing much fruit; and in this way you become my disciples." (John 15:5,8)

I am a friend of God!

Indeed Jesus' my best Friend! Even when I was unfaithful, He did not abandon me, remained faithful to me and took care of my days. Both of us stick together. He is indeed my best Friend! Thank you, Lord Jesus! I am so grateful to have the friendship with you, Lord Jesus!

This thought had been haunting persistent in occupying my mind when I realized that I was completely calm in the times of panic. There was not even a bit of anxiously and worries breaching my heart. I remembered that I often looked up to the sky and thanked God in my heart. I only noticed it when I sensed the anxiousity among my classmates as the pressure of assessment was put on our shoulders. I thanked God for helping me in many ways. "Trust in the Lord. Have faith and do not despair. Trust in the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)

Now, the storm is approaching the end in one day's time. I made a resolve to seek God with all my heart and might. Here I come, God. Thank you, Lord Jesus! Amen.

How much do you love the Lord?

I came to this post when I was randomly surfing the net. After reading it, my heart stirred up and I was made to think deeply about what I had done in the past. And I am glad that I am still seeking God with all my heart. It is a simple yet powerful article. I do recommend it.

Please click below to read the post.
A love story

A short break

I am having assessments in two weeks' time away. So I have to focus on my project for the final round before my graduation. I may not be able to write up any new post during the time but I will continue to remain united and faithful to Jesus. I still want to seek Him with all my heart for He is my strength, joy and Savior.

"Guard against turning back from the grace of God." (Hebrews 12:15) "Remain united to Me, and I will remain united to you. You cannot bear fruit unless you remain in Me." (John 15:4)

Painting love

In the morning, I was helping out at my cousin's house by painting the new paint on the walls and ceiling of the living room. It was simple but hard work for six hours. I was chuckled at the idea of painting my home. Nevertheless, I could feel my heart danced with the joy. When she offered to pay me, I turned it down gently as she already treated me to lunch and dinner which stuffed my stomach to its full. I was planning to go to school to continue my works but the headache and fatigue changed my destination to home. They also exhausted the idea of going to church for the night session. I was making my own wish in my heart by then.

Suddenly, I remembered and read up the verse:
"Even the Son of Man did not come to be served; He came to serve and to give His life to redeem many people." (Mark 10:45)