I want to express my story which I haven’t told everyone yet. Not even my parents. Three days ago, I was approached by the question. It asked,” What was your worst nightmare you have ever had? Gosh… It remind me of my terrible nightmare I had long time ago. Even though it was so long time ago, I still remember it very clear because it was most terrible and took long time to end. Back then i was having a high fever. Let me describe my experience in that dream…
Firstly, i was falling down from the sky. On the ground, i saw an enormous rock. I did not want to fall onto it. Otherwise, I would die. That's what i thought and became terrified. Then, an invisible hand pulled me up and put me down again. I can't remember how many it had been messing me around. Afterwards, it let me go. As I fell onto the flat ground, a feeling of panic had been triggering in my mind. At the moment I was pulled down by the gravity, the rock vanished in an instant. Strangely, i felt painful after i landed on the ground. (You might think that I fell down my bed but honestly, I found myself on the bed afterwards.)
Then, i got up and wandered around, wondering where I was. Everything except the ground hid in the darkness. After a while, I saw an old school. It was my primary school. Strangely, it looked old and ready to collapse in no time. But I decided to head towards it as there was no other place where I could go. When I entered the school, it was obviously empty. After a while, a group appeared. I could not recall how many of them. But I was relieved and glad as i could recognize them. They were my friends. However, they did not appear friendly. More like the zombies who looked hungry and obviously wanted to eat me up. Strange yellow light glowed their eyes. They moved like the walking dead corpses. I called their names and they remained hostile towards me. As they were coming towards me, I tried to flee but I could not! I tried to scream in vain but no voice came out of my throat. As those monsters were scrambling over me, I shut my eyes tightly. By then, their hands had reached my arms. They felt so cold! (My bed room had no air condition so it was rather warm.) Although I was in a panic, my eyes were still closed. By then, I could no longer feel coldness on my arms. Then I opened my eyes. They were gone. The school also was gone. Again, I was back to the darkness where I fell.
Then I heard the screams. Even though I was born deaf, I could tell that there were thousands of them from the sound of screaming. Then I followed the direction where the voices came from. Further away, I saw a blazing fire. It painted the sky with fiery red. I stopped as the fire was growing bigger and bigger. I was running away because I thought that the fire would eat me up by then it reached me. But I felt that I was running too slow because the fire was already nearer. Then I turned around and faced it. I was shocked as I saw so many human faces in the fire. The screaming came from them. They were kept saying something I could not describe due to my poor listening skill. But I knew that they were asking for help as they looked despairing and in pain. Honestly, I was feeling very hot and almost blinded as the fire stood in front of me. It felt like being in the hot furnace. Then, the hands from the fire grabbed my body. They felt so hot like the boiling kettles! I tried to struggle to break free but I could not because the force was too strong. It was like the thousands of strong men holding me. I shut my eyes tightly. Again, I no longer felt hot. Then I opened my eyes and the fire was gone. I checked my body whether it was burnt. It was perfectly clean. No burn mark was left on my arms. Then I checked the surrounding. I was back to darkness again.
Suddenly a small light flashed. It shone so brightly. Then I ran towards it. As I was running, I heard a beautiful music. It was so heavenly beautiful that I’ve ever heard. As well, the light was growing bigger and bigger. I stopped and saw so many white figures with the wings on their backs in the light. They were playing the music. No wonder I was hearing the dancing music. The light produced the blue sky. Same as the sky we see. After a while, the black cloud appeared and hovered over me. I was scared and turned my head around to find the white figures. But they were gone and music was gone too. Instantly, the thunders flashed around me. By then I was so scared that I wanted to flee and scream. Suddenly, one thunder struck me. I found myself falling. It felt more like sinking to the deep as I saw the blue sky shrinking slowly and disappearing. Again, I was back to the darkness. This time, I was sinking to the deep. After a while, I felt that I landed on my back.
By then I woke up soaking in my sweat. Thankfully, the nightmare was gone. I hoped that it would be my last nightmare forever. *Pray* *Pray* *Pray*
From Michael Gabriel
Tuesday 26 June 2007
Sunday 24 June 2007
Yesterday
Yesterday, i had rugby match in Farrer Park in the afternoon. Bedok Kings battled against The Wanderers. Even though the Wanderers got the international students and RJC to play for them, we, Bedok Kings got ACJC and some schools to support us. Fortunately, after long struggling, we managed to win the game. I was not sure about the score but i was glad that we did it. Next week, we will be having the Cup Final match. I'm not sure who it will be our opponent. It does not matter as ACJC is on our side. I've confidence that we will take Cup this year. (^_^)
Confidence? Shame on me. Because I did not play in all those games Bedok Kings took part. Honestly, I'm not very excellent in rugby because of my hearing impaired and poor skills. But i have learnt how to play well after watching Bedok Kings played. I believe that I'll play well if i were to choose by the coach to play.
Before the match, i saw the girl whom i found familiar. She was walking to the swimming complex. Yes, i recognised her. Even though i knew her for long time, she was not really my friend. Somehow like the strangers. Yes, the deaf people are strange because sometimes they don't bother to introduce themselves. Some of them even talked to me although we did not know each other.
After the game, i stayed for a while, watching the next rugby game. Singapore Schools battled against the Singapore Armed Force. In the halfway, i changed and went back to home as i was feeling fatigued. When i entered the lift, i heard someone called my name. This time, i was wearing hearing aid. It was my father who called me. Actually, it was the first time he called me by my name. Usually, he shouted, "Hey!" to get my attention. Only at home. At home, he is usually quiet. But he is sometimes noisy outside. We are like the strangers at home. And outside, he treated me like the kid. I could see that he was feeling shamed when i offered him to carry his things for him. So he rejected my help and he kept saying that he was fine. In the past, i was bothered about his attitudes. But now, no more concern because i got my Godfather and importantly God as my heavenly Father. As well, i have my friends, aunts and uncles at the church. They are much better than my parents. For some reasons, I'm not sure whether my parents are my biological parents.
That's all for my blogging. (^_^)
Cheers!~
Confidence? Shame on me. Because I did not play in all those games Bedok Kings took part. Honestly, I'm not very excellent in rugby because of my hearing impaired and poor skills. But i have learnt how to play well after watching Bedok Kings played. I believe that I'll play well if i were to choose by the coach to play.
Before the match, i saw the girl whom i found familiar. She was walking to the swimming complex. Yes, i recognised her. Even though i knew her for long time, she was not really my friend. Somehow like the strangers. Yes, the deaf people are strange because sometimes they don't bother to introduce themselves. Some of them even talked to me although we did not know each other.
After the game, i stayed for a while, watching the next rugby game. Singapore Schools battled against the Singapore Armed Force. In the halfway, i changed and went back to home as i was feeling fatigued. When i entered the lift, i heard someone called my name. This time, i was wearing hearing aid. It was my father who called me. Actually, it was the first time he called me by my name. Usually, he shouted, "Hey!" to get my attention. Only at home. At home, he is usually quiet. But he is sometimes noisy outside. We are like the strangers at home. And outside, he treated me like the kid. I could see that he was feeling shamed when i offered him to carry his things for him. So he rejected my help and he kept saying that he was fine. In the past, i was bothered about his attitudes. But now, no more concern because i got my Godfather and importantly God as my heavenly Father. As well, i have my friends, aunts and uncles at the church. They are much better than my parents. For some reasons, I'm not sure whether my parents are my biological parents.
That's all for my blogging. (^_^)
Cheers!~
Saturday 16 June 2007
About last Wednesday
I'm too tired to blog right now but i wanted to write down my memorial things in case i forget them. It's all about last Wednesday. I was supposed to attend the Charismatic Mass in the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour.But i didn't as i was having rugby game on that day. So i went to CCAB in Bukit Timah instead. Again, ACJC are fighting along with Bedok Kings against Blacks. The match looked really tough because there was a lot of struggling, pushing and running wars in the game. Fortunately, ACJC got the player who could kick very well. So he helped us to win the game through the penalty kicks. As the result, Bedok Kings overcame the Blacks by the score, 9 - 7. Yes, Bedok Kings beat Blacks by the three penalty kicks. We depended on those kicks because we could not score a try no matter how hard we played. For me, i didn't play because the coach did not put me in the game. I thought that it was the best for me to not play. Otherwise, the Blacks would beat Bedok Kings because i was not really good at the rugby. But i was determined to play well if i were to put in the another game. Yes, i can do it! =)
After the game, i took the shower and joined my friends who were watching the game. Now, Wanderers were playing against the Combined ITE. I did not know till now that Bedok Kings are going to versus those Wanderers. They are on the par with Bedok Kings because they are supported by RJC who are the arch rivals of ACJC. But it does not matter because i strongly believe that Bedok Kings will win and take the League Cup as it was the first time that Kings entered the Cup's matches. Yes, i will train very hard from now onwards. =)
In the halfway, my friends decided to leave to grab the bite. I followed them to the nearby hawker Centre. We just had the meals and fun, chatting and joking. I did not know that my friend actually disliked the egg very much as i saw that he looked frowned when other friend ate that egg. Haha... After the dinner, we went back to home on the separate ways.
That's all for today.
Cheers!~
After the game, i took the shower and joined my friends who were watching the game. Now, Wanderers were playing against the Combined ITE. I did not know till now that Bedok Kings are going to versus those Wanderers. They are on the par with Bedok Kings because they are supported by RJC who are the arch rivals of ACJC. But it does not matter because i strongly believe that Bedok Kings will win and take the League Cup as it was the first time that Kings entered the Cup's matches. Yes, i will train very hard from now onwards. =)
In the halfway, my friends decided to leave to grab the bite. I followed them to the nearby hawker Centre. We just had the meals and fun, chatting and joking. I did not know that my friend actually disliked the egg very much as i saw that he looked frowned when other friend ate that egg. Haha... After the dinner, we went back to home on the separate ways.
That's all for today.
Cheers!~
Sunday 10 June 2007
Tiring but fun! (^_^)
Yesterday (9th June), i was having the triathlon in the morning. Almost everyone looked excited. But i did not feel excited except being calm and cool headed because i treated it as my fun adventure. It was not as if i became the champion and took the big cup. LoL... Haha... The adventure was really tough but fortunately, i finished the race with my perseverance and the support from friends and strangers. Besides the thoughts of Jesus Christ and Virgin Mary, those strangers( the ones who gave direction) had been inspired me a lot because most of them were pretty girls and even gave me five. LoL.. Haha... During the first test of swimming, i was actually exhausted even after the two laps. But i kept on as i wanted to finish it sooner so that i cycled next. After swimming, i had the second test of cycling. From the swimming pool, i ran to the bikes' area where i changed to full suits for cycling. Actually, I wore everything for both cycling and running. At first, i was nervous because i thought that i might take the wrong way. Fortunately, there were the assistants who would give the directions. Thanks be to God. =) After cycling, here came the final test of running. Firstly, i did not run but walked instead because of exhaustion and pain in my ribs. After a while, i felt better and resumed running. When i reached the stadium for the final running, i received a lot of support from the friends and strangers. I wanted to run at high speed but i got the cramps and was too exhausted already. So i jogged slightly fast until some distance before i dashed in high speed. While running in high speed, i could hear some people screamed,"Whoahooo". After finishing the race, the feeling of thrill had cracked up over all my body and the smile had been expressed over my lips. There was a girl whom i chatted with. I felt something special as if she was my sister because we could communicate well. I forgot to ask her for her name when i left. My goodness. (>.<) Never mind. I would meet her again for sure because we were from the same primary school. Oh ya, she acted and talked like Emily. Something like that.
After the triathlon, i left immediately to head for the Yio Chu Kiang stadium for the rugby league (Bedok Kings vs Singapore Poly). On the way, i felt uneasy because of bad scent from my body odour since i did not shower after the race. As well, i was already exhausted that i did not want to play. Fortunately, ACJC came and gave the Bedok Kings a hand. Thanksfully, i did not play. Otherwise, i would die. LoL... Haha... Last year, Singapore Poly was the champion of the under 20 league. But this time, we beat them. I have confidence that Bedok Kings will be the champion this year. I hope so because i don't want to waste my effort for the Bedok Kings trainings. This time, i will really play well because i had learnt how to play rugby well from ACJC. Last time, i was really lousy and clumsy in rugby because of lack of confidence and skills.
All the best to me! X)
Cheers!~
After the triathlon, i left immediately to head for the Yio Chu Kiang stadium for the rugby league (Bedok Kings vs Singapore Poly). On the way, i felt uneasy because of bad scent from my body odour since i did not shower after the race. As well, i was already exhausted that i did not want to play. Fortunately, ACJC came and gave the Bedok Kings a hand. Thanksfully, i did not play. Otherwise, i would die. LoL... Haha... Last year, Singapore Poly was the champion of the under 20 league. But this time, we beat them. I have confidence that Bedok Kings will be the champion this year. I hope so because i don't want to waste my effort for the Bedok Kings trainings. This time, i will really play well because i had learnt how to play rugby well from ACJC. Last time, i was really lousy and clumsy in rugby because of lack of confidence and skills.
All the best to me! X)
Cheers!~
Tuesday 5 June 2007
Just my own mind dairy
Oh no... I have been suffering sleepless nights in those days. I tried to sleep early but my mother's presence refused to give me a sleep of peace. She watched the television so late at night for the stupid Hong Kong shows. Well... My mum and i shared the same room but we slept separately. I have my own room but it does not have the air conditioner. How to sleep well with the feeling of heat? (=.=) I must do something about it but i do not have much money to revolt against it. How long must i wait for my job to give me the money? Lord, teach me how to be patient during the troubled times. *praying* When i finally get the money, i would definitely have the new air conditioner installed in my room and replace mum's old air conditioner with the new one as well. Maybe i will add one more to the living room as it's full of dirt and bad scent due to my aunt's junk clothes. I'm sure that the passer bys would not like to experience the unpleasant scent from my home.
I want to sleep early so that i work out in the morning and grow big and tall. My mum doesn't share that thought but instead, she saw it as the childish and crazy dream. Why is she like that all those years? Mum, do you know that you are really ruining my dreams, physical and spiritual means? I know that you concern about me but you are really destroying me if you control me. Do you want me to be like my aunt who suffers mental illness? My aunt is like this because her parents locked her in the room for days for her just young desire for having the boyfriend. There is really nothing with the teenagers having serious relationships as long as they are clean. Even my friends who got the serious relationships long time ago, are still doing well now. It seems that my family has the style of stubbornness in their bloodline. I just say that they are just brainless people because they always think that they know me well even though i don't talk much. Like last time, my father gave me the coffee while i asked for the Root Beer at the coffee ship in the night.
I desire to grow big and tall because if i were that big guy, i would probably have the advantage in the games. How nice would it be if i became Big Show, the Great Khali or Andrea the Giant? I know that i have to train a lot to play well but I'm hearing impaired.So I'm at the disadvantage. But i have faith in God. It does not matter whether I'm big or small guy as long as I've perfect faith in God. It's all up to the Lord whether i should grow big and tall. When i got the money, i would definitely buy the supplements for the muscles and bones and work out a lot in the gym.
For this Saturday (9th June), I have the mixed feelings. Firstly, I'm very excited about it because I'm having the serious tests on that day. Triathlon and rugby league on the same day. It's very challenging to me. At the same time, I've been worried about it. I just worry about how to survive and still do well for those two tough challenges with much fatigue. I have thought of the solutions. Firstly, i must train a lot right now. I'm going to swim 20 laps (Bedok Swimming Complex), cycle more than 18km (East Coast Park) and run more than 5km (Bedok Reservoir) later on. Secondly, i must eat well. At least 3 meals per day. Thirdly, I must sleep well to recover the strength fully and reduce the fatigue and pain. Moreover, I'm looking for the water plastic jar which may be important for the tough challenges. I need cold water to refresh myself and reduce the heat. I cannot find one as i don't know where to buy it. I have checked the cookery stores and sports shops out but i cannot find one. It's very terrible but it does not matter as i can buy cold drinks such as Red Bull from the convenient shops.
That's all for blogging.
Cheers!~
I want to sleep early so that i work out in the morning and grow big and tall. My mum doesn't share that thought but instead, she saw it as the childish and crazy dream. Why is she like that all those years? Mum, do you know that you are really ruining my dreams, physical and spiritual means? I know that you concern about me but you are really destroying me if you control me. Do you want me to be like my aunt who suffers mental illness? My aunt is like this because her parents locked her in the room for days for her just young desire for having the boyfriend. There is really nothing with the teenagers having serious relationships as long as they are clean. Even my friends who got the serious relationships long time ago, are still doing well now. It seems that my family has the style of stubbornness in their bloodline. I just say that they are just brainless people because they always think that they know me well even though i don't talk much. Like last time, my father gave me the coffee while i asked for the Root Beer at the coffee ship in the night.
I desire to grow big and tall because if i were that big guy, i would probably have the advantage in the games. How nice would it be if i became Big Show, the Great Khali or Andrea the Giant? I know that i have to train a lot to play well but I'm hearing impaired.So I'm at the disadvantage. But i have faith in God. It does not matter whether I'm big or small guy as long as I've perfect faith in God. It's all up to the Lord whether i should grow big and tall. When i got the money, i would definitely buy the supplements for the muscles and bones and work out a lot in the gym.
For this Saturday (9th June), I have the mixed feelings. Firstly, I'm very excited about it because I'm having the serious tests on that day. Triathlon and rugby league on the same day. It's very challenging to me. At the same time, I've been worried about it. I just worry about how to survive and still do well for those two tough challenges with much fatigue. I have thought of the solutions. Firstly, i must train a lot right now. I'm going to swim 20 laps (Bedok Swimming Complex), cycle more than 18km (East Coast Park) and run more than 5km (Bedok Reservoir) later on. Secondly, i must eat well. At least 3 meals per day. Thirdly, I must sleep well to recover the strength fully and reduce the fatigue and pain. Moreover, I'm looking for the water plastic jar which may be important for the tough challenges. I need cold water to refresh myself and reduce the heat. I cannot find one as i don't know where to buy it. I have checked the cookery stores and sports shops out but i cannot find one. It's very terrible but it does not matter as i can buy cold drinks such as Red Bull from the convenient shops.
That's all for blogging.
Cheers!~
Friday 1 June 2007
About my fun adventure
Last Wednesday (30th May), i was having a great adventure in the East Coast Park. Around 1400, i left my home to head for that huge park. I decided to use the path of Bedok Reservoir as the shortcut to the park but i could not find that path. So i wandered around aimlessly to train my legs. By then, i decided to go to Tanah Merah MRT station but since i was at Tampines, i went ahead to Simei, Expo and then Tanah Merah. Finally, i found the path which led to East Coast Park.
When i reached the East Coast Park, it was about 1445. I cycled on to the end of the park. It was really far away that i had to replenish my thirst with some drinks i bought from the nearby shops twice. And my "backside" was hurt as well from the long journey. For how long i had travelled, i think that i have covered more than 18km which is enough for the triathlon. It was really great for me to improve my strength and stamina. So i decided to cycle again in the East Coast Park from time to time. After the East Coast Park, i cycled to the Bedok Swimming Complex to relax my muscles and practise swimming as well. It was around 1800 when i arrived at the swimming pool. For the triathlon, i had to complete swimming (14 laps - 700m), cycling (3 laps - 18km) and running ( 4.4km). I don't think that it is really tough for me because i find it very challenging and fun. I have confidence that i can complete the race within the time. (^_^) All the best to me! I decided to come late to the church for the Charismatic mass because my friends had not arrived to the swimming pool yet. They were supposed to come at 1900 and i would then leave around 1930. But they came 30 minutes late instead. So i decided to leave at 2015. By then, i was learning how to do the swimming freestyle. Even though i can swim faster with my swimming breaststroke, i think that i can do faster with that freestyle. I remembered that when i was competing with someone, i was using my favourite breaststroke and she used the freestyle. She swam faster than me despite i used all my strength in my breaststroke. So i decided to use the freestyle for the competition. After the practice, i changed as fast as i could because i did not want to be late for the mass. When i arrived, i sneaked in the room stealthily. But by then i realized that i came very late already because reading the bible was already over. There were just communion, testimonies and singing hymns only. After the mass, almost everyone asked me why i was late. Haha... For aunty Monica, i felt that she was somehow angry with me for not helping her to prepare the mass. I tried to explain but instead she told me that i was helping Jesus, not her. So she prayed for me with the aid of Aunty Lena. I did not plan to come earlier to help out because i thought that Jason would help her out. Instead, Jason did not come earlier. Afterwards, i cycled back to home and had usual activities such as bathing and sleeping.
Yesterday (31th May), i woke up finding myself with some muscles sores. It was due to my long journey on he day before. I drank some coffee to ease some pains. I went out to have lunch with my mum. Then, i returned and changed for a while. I left home to head for the Bukit Timah stadium for the rugby training. For the training, i don't have any comment because it was usual as before but this time, it was much tougher because i was already fatigued. After training, i went back to Bedok Centre to wait for my mum to pick me up. We went to the hawker centre nearby for the dinner. I was having the Chicken Chop, my favourite food. Yum!~ Yum!~ (^_^)
That's all for blogging! (^_^)
Cheers!~
When i reached the East Coast Park, it was about 1445. I cycled on to the end of the park. It was really far away that i had to replenish my thirst with some drinks i bought from the nearby shops twice. And my "backside" was hurt as well from the long journey. For how long i had travelled, i think that i have covered more than 18km which is enough for the triathlon. It was really great for me to improve my strength and stamina. So i decided to cycle again in the East Coast Park from time to time. After the East Coast Park, i cycled to the Bedok Swimming Complex to relax my muscles and practise swimming as well. It was around 1800 when i arrived at the swimming pool. For the triathlon, i had to complete swimming (14 laps - 700m), cycling (3 laps - 18km) and running ( 4.4km). I don't think that it is really tough for me because i find it very challenging and fun. I have confidence that i can complete the race within the time. (^_^) All the best to me! I decided to come late to the church for the Charismatic mass because my friends had not arrived to the swimming pool yet. They were supposed to come at 1900 and i would then leave around 1930. But they came 30 minutes late instead. So i decided to leave at 2015. By then, i was learning how to do the swimming freestyle. Even though i can swim faster with my swimming breaststroke, i think that i can do faster with that freestyle. I remembered that when i was competing with someone, i was using my favourite breaststroke and she used the freestyle. She swam faster than me despite i used all my strength in my breaststroke. So i decided to use the freestyle for the competition. After the practice, i changed as fast as i could because i did not want to be late for the mass. When i arrived, i sneaked in the room stealthily. But by then i realized that i came very late already because reading the bible was already over. There were just communion, testimonies and singing hymns only. After the mass, almost everyone asked me why i was late. Haha... For aunty Monica, i felt that she was somehow angry with me for not helping her to prepare the mass. I tried to explain but instead she told me that i was helping Jesus, not her. So she prayed for me with the aid of Aunty Lena. I did not plan to come earlier to help out because i thought that Jason would help her out. Instead, Jason did not come earlier. Afterwards, i cycled back to home and had usual activities such as bathing and sleeping.
Yesterday (31th May), i woke up finding myself with some muscles sores. It was due to my long journey on he day before. I drank some coffee to ease some pains. I went out to have lunch with my mum. Then, i returned and changed for a while. I left home to head for the Bukit Timah stadium for the rugby training. For the training, i don't have any comment because it was usual as before but this time, it was much tougher because i was already fatigued. After training, i went back to Bedok Centre to wait for my mum to pick me up. We went to the hawker centre nearby for the dinner. I was having the Chicken Chop, my favourite food. Yum!~ Yum!~ (^_^)
That's all for blogging! (^_^)
Cheers!~
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