Friendship

"A kindly turn of speech multiplies a man's friends, and a courteous way of speaking invites many a friendly reply. Let your acquaintances be many, but your advisers one in a thousand. If you want to make a friend, take him on trial, and be in no hurry to trust him; for one kind of friend is only so when it suits him but will not stand by you in your day of trouble. Another kind of friend will fall out with you and to your dismay make your quarrel public, and a third kind of friend will share your table, but not stand by you in your day of trouble: when you are doing well he will be your second self, ordering your servants about; but if ever you are brought low he will turn against you and will hide himself from you. Keep well clear of your enemies, and be wary of your friends. A faithful friend is a sure shelter, whoever finds one has found a rare treaure. A faithful friend is something beyond price, there is no measuring his worth. A faithful friend is the elixir of life, and those who fear the Lord will find one. Whoever fears the Lord makes true friends, for as a man is, so is his friend." (Ecclesiasticus 6:5-17)

As I was looking at my circle of friends, I was being ambivalent whether they really understood my inner thoughts or not. Right now, my mind was overflown with countless thoughts that I could not write down due to paucity of time. Although I found myself being introvert, I tried to be pragmatic and reach out to others. But because of communication barrier and huge differences, it is difficult for me to find one who shares the same world with me and really wants to be best friend with Lord Jesus. My deafness might offend many people but surely friends cannot take troubles from each other, not just joys, can they? Don't tell me that you don't like people correcting you what you should not do?

"Eating and drinking don't make friendships - such friendships even robbers and murderers have. But if we are friends, if we truly care for one another, let's help one another spiritually... Let's hinder those things that lead our friends away to hell." - Saint John Chrysostom

Don't tell me that it is unconventional for me to be interested in spirituality. Everyone has different dream to pursue. I too have my own dream to pursue because I am human being like you. For me, I only desire to be one of best friends of Jesus as my eternal gratitude to Him for having found me and bringing me to His Holy Church where I find the gate of Heaven. 

Taken from Catholic.org (click)

- Story of Saint Teresa of Avila:

Sometimes, however, she couldn't avoid complaining to her closest Friend about the hostility and gossip that surrounded her. When Jesus told her, "Teresa, that's how I treat my friends" Teresa responded, "No wonder you have so few friends." But since Christ has so few friends, she felt they should be good ones. And that's why she decided to reform her Carmelite order.

I can picture how difficult Saint Teresa found it to reform her community as she wanted her brothers and sisters to become holy and perfect as our God is. But she persevered and succeeded eventually. As the result, many holy people were formed and became the saints. As I was so used to my solitude, Lord Jesus told me, "It is not good for you to be alone. Go out and make friends with others whom I desire to have as my friends. Help me to bring them back to Me." That is when I started to go out to the world despite the dangers out there. Our God gave us His inevitable gift - sense of community. This is where our Mother Church, families and friends are found. Friends may have gone through fire and water with you but are they interested to go to Heaven with you if you want to go there? If you want to be my good friend, you have to listen to Lord Jesus' Word: "Be holy and perfect as My Father is Holy and Perfect." I am not asking you to become priest, monk, religious brother and nun for I understand that everyone has different calling from God. Just be holy in whatever you are. If you manage to love Lord Jesus and Mother Mary wholeheartedly, you will know where to find me. Think about what you can offer to God when you reach the death where it changes your condition of life. All of us come to this world with nothing and also leave this world with nothing.

Thank You, Holy Spirit again.

I learnt how to pray in Catholic school when I was young. But what made me do it? I believe it is the supernatural impulse of Holy Spirit and my Guardian Angel whom God's love entrusted me with that bended my curious innocence into Catholic faith.

The problem of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the lost of most vital stimulus - the sound of voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man. (Hellen Keller, 1905)

I came across this quote in the Facebook post. It somehow provoked my reflective thoughts. I was reminded of the bitternesses from the childhood because my deafness separated me from the other people and it seemed to offend many people whom I encountered. I was also vulnerable to misunderstandings as people always thought they were right when they dealt with me instead of asking me what I wanted. They neither coached nor explained to me because they thought it was unnecessary since I could not hear anything. People either laughed at me or hit me instead of teaching me when I did not know anything. As it became common in my daily life, I gradually got used to it and chose to keep quiet instead of fighting and screaming. When I did not find someone to chat with, I played the toys to enjoy myself. That was my childhood. When I grew up, I released my stress in both fitness training which I learnt from school and entertainments. Strangely, there was another habit of mine: prayer - talking to God about everything. It was strange because I did not learn how to communicate with Him from school. I guess it was the Holy Spirit who installed the gift of prayer within me without my consciousness. I developed rebellious side in my late teenage. I often learnt my lessons in hard ways.

So am I really so unfortunate to be born with hearing disability? No, I do not think so. Rather, it is the gift from God who intended to save my soul from the beginning since He knows everything. So what if I am different? God is also different from this world. I found the Lord when I was at the lowest point of my life. That impact changed my life forever. Even today, I am still grateful for that. I guess my hardships were preparing me to become Catholic and get used to every trial that comes to my path of eternal salvation because Lord Jesus already warned that the path to Heaven is very narrow and difficult. The Lord really knows me from the beginning even before I was born as He gives everything I need in my life. I am really fortunate to become adopted child of God instead of being the son of this world. Even today, I am still carrying my cross and sometimes my strength has reached its limit but I am still happy to be able to follow Lord Jesus. After all, Mother Mary, all the Angels and Saints, my Patron Saints, and my Guardian Angel are praying hard for me to have longer life on the earth so that I can have enough time to work hard for perfection in virtues and holiness. (Mind you, I had quite a few close shave with death.) So I must work hard with my faith. Ave Maria!

"If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all." 

- Jesus of Nazareth (Mark 9:35)

"..if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Be sincere of heart, be steadfast, and do not be alarmed when disaster comes. Cling to Him and do not leave Him, so that you may be honored at the end of your days. Whatever happens to you, accept it, and in the uncertainties of your humble state, be patient, since gold is tested in fire, and chosen men in the furnace of humiliation. Trust Him and He will uphold you, follow a straight path and hope in Him." (Ecclesiasticus 2:1-9)

"All the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics." - Saint Pope Pius V

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus - He is handsome, isn't He?

Today the enormous statute of Sacred Heart of Jesus resided in my home for renovation. Despite its worn colours, I was amazed at its perfect measurement upon close inspection. I was pretty sure that it was made by the artist with extraordinary skills as it was really well crafted. Now, it looked majestic and glorious magnificent after being overlaid with white paint. It somehow seemed to be trying to magnify the marvelousness of God, the Most High. I am glad that it will be going to be used to raise the reverence atmosphere for Most Sacred Heart of Jesus upon the completion of renovation. 

I am also reminded of the Divine Mercy which Lord Jesus promised through Saint Faustina. I think it is supernatural grace of God that gives me this insight - I learnt (much to my surprise) that the enemies of the Church refer to the unbelievers. We might be fighting the strangest wars because we are fighting for our enemies, not against them. Our main warfare is not to destroy the enemies but to defeat their own convictions that do not lead them to God, and then convert them. The devil wishes to take all of them together with him to eternal damnation. Lord Jesus already defeated him through His Cross. Now, He put us in charge of bringing souls to Him through our Mother Church. This is what our war means - to enlarge the Church and bring the souls to eternal communion with Most Holy Trinity, One God through Lord Jesus Christ. I am pretty confident in Almighty God. Since He had already found me,  He can win the conversion of the whole world. I am pretty sure of that! Praise the Lord, my soul. All my being, praise His Holy Name and never forget how Kind He is. 

"All the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics." - Saint Pope Pius V

"You poured down, O God, a generous rain: when Your people were starved You gave them new life. It was there that Your people found a home, prepared in Your Goodness, O God, for the poor. May the Lord be blessed day after day. He bears our burdens, God our Saviour. This God of ours is a God who saves. The Lord our God holds the keys of death. Kingdoms of the earth, sing to God." 

Psalsm 67: 10-11, 20-21, 33

13th May: Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima

She's pretty, isn't she? I'm pretty sure that we will find her even more magnificent and prettier when we meet Her one day.

"Mary stands before us as a sign of comfort, encouragement, and hope. She turns to us, saying: '...Commit yourselves to God, then you will see that it is precisely by doing so that your life will become broad and light, not boring but filled with infinite surprises, for God's infinite goodness is never depleted!' "

(Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, Homily on the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, 08Dec05)

Today is the feast day of our Lady of Fatima. Oh, what a joyous day! But at same time, I was sad as I was unable to do something to honor Her (I was planning to paint huge image of Her. But for some reasons, I was unable to get the big canvas as the shop took forever to reply to my enquiry.) However, at least I had spent time in heartfelt prayers and Holy Rosary with Her and Brother Jesus. I hope my little effort can make Her happy. 

Relating to the homily of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, I can testify for Mother Mary's message that God is really good all the time and can give infinite surprises. He even read the secret thoughts of my heart and gave me the answers that never fail to put smile on my face. For example, I was craving for roti prata for a while and did not tell anybody. For some reasons, I could not find roti pratas in all the places I had known. Last Sunday, my community happened to have potluck for the celebration of Mother's Day. There were roti pratas on the table. Fantastic! It is one example. There are many other miracles I had witnessed too.

But importantly, I come to love Mother Mary and recognize Her as the Ear of God. She is really powerful intercessor as with Her help, my prayers are always answered when they fit the benefits of my soul. O Virgin Mary, my soul praise you for being so faithful to God every moment. When you come to love Lord Jesus, you will also come to love Her Dearest Mother Mary as much as He loves Her. Remember the Calvary scene when He told His beloved disciple, Saint John to love Her and likewise told Her to love Saint John as Her son? Saint John, the Holy Apostle represents us. So naturally, we ought to love Her as our Mother. That is when I come to appreciate One of the Ten Commandments - to honor your parents and learn the valuable meaning of true love. God is True Love. If we love and forgive each other, we can find God easily. I also can boldly call Lord Jesus as my Brother since we share the same Mother. I think that if I had never known Brother Jesus and Mother Mary, I would not be able to get over the bitterness which I acquired from childhood to present time and forgive others easily. I am so glad not to be the son of this world. If otherwise, why this world cannot fit me in? I learnt that I should not only accept the happiness from God but also sorrows from Him. Sorrows are meant to detach us from this world so that we can be ready for Heaven. Only efficient for those who bear Christ's love. Praised be Jesus and Mary now and forever! "Sing praise for God, sing praise, sing praise to our King, sing praise!" (Psalms 47:6)

"Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin Mary too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did and If anyone does not wish to have Mary Immaculate for his mother, he will not have Christ for his brother." - Saint Maximilian Kolbe

His Mercy endures forever

Recent news about deaf student named Dylan Quick stabbing people got me thinking. You can find the source here: [link]  From my perspective, I think he grew up in solitary and did not even associate with deaf people as he did not learn sign language in his youth, and even was home schooled as the child. Having almost similar experience, I understand that he was unable to find someone whom he could share his feelings, and thus fell prey to his impulse of fantasy, stabbing people. There is no way for healthy humans to harbor such destructive thoughts. It saddened me more than frightening me because of huge distance between himself and deaf people. I was told that if deaf person does not know sign language, he does not relate himself to the deaf cultures. Little wonder deaf people drew line between each other. But my determination was strengthened because there are many people whom the others cannot reach out to, and they deserve Heaven and to know Lord Jesus Christ. 

Surprisedly, the Gospel speaks to me today as if God is reading my thoughts. Saint John the Baptist said, 

"He who comes from above is above all others; He who is born of the earth is earthly Himself and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from Heaven bears witness to the things He has seen and heard, even if His testimony is not accepted; though all who do accept His testimony are attesting the truthfulness of God, since He whom God has sent speaks God's Own Words: God gives Him the Spirit without reserve. The Father loves the Son and has entrusted everything to Him. Anyone who believes in the Son has eternal life, but anyone who refuses to believe in the Son will never see life: the anger of God stays on Him." (John 3:31-36)

Lord Jesus Himself is true God and knows no sin, but He chose to live like the full human when He was here on the earth. He even associated with all kinds of sinners, but never committed the sins Himself. Because He is Love, He wanted to reach out those sinners whom the public rejected. The Catholic Church taught that we, baptized or not, are all the children of God because we believe that God created everything in Heaven and on earth, visible and invisible. Technically, everything belongs to Him alone. As He respected our free wills, He let us take control of everything on the earth, and even we can choose to love Him or not. Remember, God is Love and always desires the salvation for every one of us. Truly, His Mercy endures forever.

My point is that I ought to be more courageous and make effort to reach out to every person whom I meet everyday because Lord Jesus also reached out to every sinner He saw. Recall that Lord said, "It is not the healthy who need the doctor, but sick... What I want is mercy, not sacrifice. And indeed I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners." (Matthew 9:12-13) One deaf Korean priest who told me that he visited deaf prisoners so as to educate them. They were jailed for stealing. Because they were uneducated and unable to make living, they did not understand that stealing for food was the crime. I neither see Dylan Quick as the bad person nor wish judgment upon him. I pray that the kind soul will help him to know Lord Jesus. I hope I will get to work on His Kingdom soon.

Be a light of Christ

Receiving into Christ's Body

Reflection on Gospel: "... though the light has come into the world men have shown they prefer darkness to the light because their deeds were evil. And indeed, everybody who does wrong hates the light and avoids it, for fear his actions should be exposed; but the man who lives by the truth comes out into the light, so that it may be plainly seen that what he does is done in God." (John 3:19 -21)

One thought just came to my mind as I was praying over those verses that struck me. I reflected that the man's decision is not definite till the very moment of death. So he is bound to change his will over the period of time. Time is the measurement of change. Little wonder Lord Jesus warned us not to judge the others in case our judgments would turn against us on that Day. Only the final vengeance belongs to God alone. So I believe there is a hope for the conversion of most hardened sinners. Yes, I truly believe and pray hard for it for nothing is impossible with God. As proved, many people, for the example, the saints, had transformed from the sinners into the saints because they had found God who art the Truth, the Light and the Love, and decided to pursue Him with all their hearts, minds and strengths while repenting. I realized that I had changed from the naughty boy into Catholic child of God but I am still learning. I reflected upon my past regrets and saw no point in crying over the split milk, because they were part of my sinful life which I had abandoned on the very first day of my full communion with God and my Mother Church. My old self had died as Christ lives in me and I live in Him. I should feel honored for that. I am so glad to bear my cross while being alive on the earth. I could die long time ago as the vehicles had nearly ran over me when I was young. Now, my eyes are refocused on that ultimate goal - the crown of eternal life. Why not striving for the sainthood without having passed through the purgatory? After all, mortal life is short, compared to eternal life so suffering is very small here. If you can bear pains from the exercises, why cannot we bear the pains of our sweet penances which pave the ways for us to Heaven? Those are less severe than the pains in the purgatory. My resolve is being strengthened because I know Mother Mary, my patron Saints and my Guardian Angel are praying hard for me to have longer life here on the earth so that I can have enough time to perfect all my virtues with the help of God's graces. Praise the Lord for the gifts of my solitary life and silent world which enables me to find God easily. 

"If we omit God, we do not see anything as it is but everything as it is not - which is the very definition of insanity." (Theology for the Beginners, pg.51)

Emmaus walk

Emmaus Walk: Two disciples recognized Jesus at breaking of bread

Yesterday's Gospel (3rd April) was about Emmaus walk. It spoke to me as I related myself very similar to the disciples who could not recognized Jesus as they met Him on their journey. 

Saint Augustine reflected on their dimmed perceptions, "They were so disturbed when they saw Him hanging on the cross that they forgot His teaching, did not look for His Resurrection, and failed to keep His promises in mind. (Sermon 235.1) Their eyes were obstructed, that they should not recognize him until the breaking of the bread. And thus, in accordance with the state of their minds, which was still ignorant of the truth (that the Christ would die and rise again", their eyes were similarly hindered. It was not that the truth himself was misleading them, but rather that they were themselves unable to perceive the truth." (From The Harmony of the Gospels, 3.25.72)

I was also blind that I failed to recognize Jesus in my life. What was my greatest obstacle on my path? Mainly it was my pride which often incited my self-centreness. How often did I fail to listen to God who spoke to me and open His Mind to me everyday? The humility of Christ's Broken Body where I found in the Holy Mass enabled me to see His Presence in my life. I heard God telling me, "Pray for the graces to remove the attachments from your heart and you will find freedom. Why? Because by then, you will be able to listen to My Words attentively and abide in My Truth. My Truth sets you free." 

Blessed be God forever and ever. Amen!

"If we want to enjoy interior peace, it is necessary to have one will and one desire: to love Jesus crucified, employing all our faculties and energies for this purpose. Different indeed is the peace resulting from this love - a peace that the world does not give." - Saint Francis de Sales