Thank You, Holy Spirit again.

I learnt how to pray in Catholic school when I was young. But what made me do it? I believe it is the supernatural impulse of Holy Spirit and my Guardian Angel whom God's love entrusted me with that bended my curious innocence into Catholic faith.

The problem of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the lost of most vital stimulus - the sound of voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man. (Hellen Keller, 1905)

I came across this quote in the Facebook post. It somehow provoked my reflective thoughts. I was reminded of the bitternesses from the childhood because my deafness separated me from the other people and it seemed to offend many people whom I encountered. I was also vulnerable to misunderstandings as people always thought they were right when they dealt with me instead of asking me what I wanted. They neither coached nor explained to me because they thought it was unnecessary since I could not hear anything. People either laughed at me or hit me instead of teaching me when I did not know anything. As it became common in my daily life, I gradually got used to it and chose to keep quiet instead of fighting and screaming. When I did not find someone to chat with, I played the toys to enjoy myself. That was my childhood. When I grew up, I released my stress in both fitness training which I learnt from school and entertainments. Strangely, there was another habit of mine: prayer - talking to God about everything. It was strange because I did not learn how to communicate with Him from school. I guess it was the Holy Spirit who installed the gift of prayer within me without my consciousness. I developed rebellious side in my late teenage. I often learnt my lessons in hard ways.

So am I really so unfortunate to be born with hearing disability? No, I do not think so. Rather, it is the gift from God who intended to save my soul from the beginning since He knows everything. So what if I am different? God is also different from this world. I found the Lord when I was at the lowest point of my life. That impact changed my life forever. Even today, I am still grateful for that. I guess my hardships were preparing me to become Catholic and get used to every trial that comes to my path of eternal salvation because Lord Jesus already warned that the path to Heaven is very narrow and difficult. The Lord really knows me from the beginning even before I was born as He gives everything I need in my life. I am really fortunate to become adopted child of God instead of being the son of this world. Even today, I am still carrying my cross and sometimes my strength has reached its limit but I am still happy to be able to follow Lord Jesus. After all, Mother Mary, all the Angels and Saints, my Patron Saints, and my Guardian Angel are praying hard for me to have longer life on the earth so that I can have enough time to work hard for perfection in virtues and holiness. (Mind you, I had quite a few close shave with death.) So I must work hard with my faith. Ave Maria!

"If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all." 

- Jesus of Nazareth (Mark 9:35)

"..if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Be sincere of heart, be steadfast, and do not be alarmed when disaster comes. Cling to Him and do not leave Him, so that you may be honored at the end of your days. Whatever happens to you, accept it, and in the uncertainties of your humble state, be patient, since gold is tested in fire, and chosen men in the furnace of humiliation. Trust Him and He will uphold you, follow a straight path and hope in Him." (Ecclesiasticus 2:1-9)