Friendship

"A kindly turn of speech multiplies a man's friends, and a courteous way of speaking invites many a friendly reply. Let your acquaintances be many, but your advisers one in a thousand. If you want to make a friend, take him on trial, and be in no hurry to trust him; for one kind of friend is only so when it suits him but will not stand by you in your day of trouble. Another kind of friend will fall out with you and to your dismay make your quarrel public, and a third kind of friend will share your table, but not stand by you in your day of trouble: when you are doing well he will be your second self, ordering your servants about; but if ever you are brought low he will turn against you and will hide himself from you. Keep well clear of your enemies, and be wary of your friends. A faithful friend is a sure shelter, whoever finds one has found a rare treaure. A faithful friend is something beyond price, there is no measuring his worth. A faithful friend is the elixir of life, and those who fear the Lord will find one. Whoever fears the Lord makes true friends, for as a man is, so is his friend." (Ecclesiasticus 6:5-17)

As I was looking at my circle of friends, I was being ambivalent whether they really understood my inner thoughts or not. Right now, my mind was overflown with countless thoughts that I could not write down due to paucity of time. Although I found myself being introvert, I tried to be pragmatic and reach out to others. But because of communication barrier and huge differences, it is difficult for me to find one who shares the same world with me and really wants to be best friend with Lord Jesus. My deafness might offend many people but surely friends cannot take troubles from each other, not just joys, can they? Don't tell me that you don't like people correcting you what you should not do?

"Eating and drinking don't make friendships - such friendships even robbers and murderers have. But if we are friends, if we truly care for one another, let's help one another spiritually... Let's hinder those things that lead our friends away to hell." - Saint John Chrysostom

Don't tell me that it is unconventional for me to be interested in spirituality. Everyone has different dream to pursue. I too have my own dream to pursue because I am human being like you. For me, I only desire to be one of best friends of Jesus as my eternal gratitude to Him for having found me and bringing me to His Holy Church where I find the gate of Heaven. 

Taken from Catholic.org (click)

- Story of Saint Teresa of Avila:

Sometimes, however, she couldn't avoid complaining to her closest Friend about the hostility and gossip that surrounded her. When Jesus told her, "Teresa, that's how I treat my friends" Teresa responded, "No wonder you have so few friends." But since Christ has so few friends, she felt they should be good ones. And that's why she decided to reform her Carmelite order.

I can picture how difficult Saint Teresa found it to reform her community as she wanted her brothers and sisters to become holy and perfect as our God is. But she persevered and succeeded eventually. As the result, many holy people were formed and became the saints. As I was so used to my solitude, Lord Jesus told me, "It is not good for you to be alone. Go out and make friends with others whom I desire to have as my friends. Help me to bring them back to Me." That is when I started to go out to the world despite the dangers out there. Our God gave us His inevitable gift - sense of community. This is where our Mother Church, families and friends are found. Friends may have gone through fire and water with you but are they interested to go to Heaven with you if you want to go there? If you want to be my good friend, you have to listen to Lord Jesus' Word: "Be holy and perfect as My Father is Holy and Perfect." I am not asking you to become priest, monk, religious brother and nun for I understand that everyone has different calling from God. Just be holy in whatever you are. If you manage to love Lord Jesus and Mother Mary wholeheartedly, you will know where to find me. Think about what you can offer to God when you reach the death where it changes your condition of life. All of us come to this world with nothing and also leave this world with nothing.

Thank You, Holy Spirit again.

I learnt how to pray in Catholic school when I was young. But what made me do it? I believe it is the supernatural impulse of Holy Spirit and my Guardian Angel whom God's love entrusted me with that bended my curious innocence into Catholic faith.

The problem of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the lost of most vital stimulus - the sound of voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man. (Hellen Keller, 1905)

I came across this quote in the Facebook post. It somehow provoked my reflective thoughts. I was reminded of the bitternesses from the childhood because my deafness separated me from the other people and it seemed to offend many people whom I encountered. I was also vulnerable to misunderstandings as people always thought they were right when they dealt with me instead of asking me what I wanted. They neither coached nor explained to me because they thought it was unnecessary since I could not hear anything. People either laughed at me or hit me instead of teaching me when I did not know anything. As it became common in my daily life, I gradually got used to it and chose to keep quiet instead of fighting and screaming. When I did not find someone to chat with, I played the toys to enjoy myself. That was my childhood. When I grew up, I released my stress in both fitness training which I learnt from school and entertainments. Strangely, there was another habit of mine: prayer - talking to God about everything. It was strange because I did not learn how to communicate with Him from school. I guess it was the Holy Spirit who installed the gift of prayer within me without my consciousness. I developed rebellious side in my late teenage. I often learnt my lessons in hard ways.

So am I really so unfortunate to be born with hearing disability? No, I do not think so. Rather, it is the gift from God who intended to save my soul from the beginning since He knows everything. So what if I am different? God is also different from this world. I found the Lord when I was at the lowest point of my life. That impact changed my life forever. Even today, I am still grateful for that. I guess my hardships were preparing me to become Catholic and get used to every trial that comes to my path of eternal salvation because Lord Jesus already warned that the path to Heaven is very narrow and difficult. The Lord really knows me from the beginning even before I was born as He gives everything I need in my life. I am really fortunate to become adopted child of God instead of being the son of this world. Even today, I am still carrying my cross and sometimes my strength has reached its limit but I am still happy to be able to follow Lord Jesus. After all, Mother Mary, all the Angels and Saints, my Patron Saints, and my Guardian Angel are praying hard for me to have longer life on the earth so that I can have enough time to work hard for perfection in virtues and holiness. (Mind you, I had quite a few close shave with death.) So I must work hard with my faith. Ave Maria!

"If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all." 

- Jesus of Nazareth (Mark 9:35)

"..if you aspire to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Be sincere of heart, be steadfast, and do not be alarmed when disaster comes. Cling to Him and do not leave Him, so that you may be honored at the end of your days. Whatever happens to you, accept it, and in the uncertainties of your humble state, be patient, since gold is tested in fire, and chosen men in the furnace of humiliation. Trust Him and He will uphold you, follow a straight path and hope in Him." (Ecclesiasticus 2:1-9)

"All the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics." - Saint Pope Pius V

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus - He is handsome, isn't He?

Today the enormous statute of Sacred Heart of Jesus resided in my home for renovation. Despite its worn colours, I was amazed at its perfect measurement upon close inspection. I was pretty sure that it was made by the artist with extraordinary skills as it was really well crafted. Now, it looked majestic and glorious magnificent after being overlaid with white paint. It somehow seemed to be trying to magnify the marvelousness of God, the Most High. I am glad that it will be going to be used to raise the reverence atmosphere for Most Sacred Heart of Jesus upon the completion of renovation. 

I am also reminded of the Divine Mercy which Lord Jesus promised through Saint Faustina. I think it is supernatural grace of God that gives me this insight - I learnt (much to my surprise) that the enemies of the Church refer to the unbelievers. We might be fighting the strangest wars because we are fighting for our enemies, not against them. Our main warfare is not to destroy the enemies but to defeat their own convictions that do not lead them to God, and then convert them. The devil wishes to take all of them together with him to eternal damnation. Lord Jesus already defeated him through His Cross. Now, He put us in charge of bringing souls to Him through our Mother Church. This is what our war means - to enlarge the Church and bring the souls to eternal communion with Most Holy Trinity, One God through Lord Jesus Christ. I am pretty confident in Almighty God. Since He had already found me,  He can win the conversion of the whole world. I am pretty sure of that! Praise the Lord, my soul. All my being, praise His Holy Name and never forget how Kind He is. 

"All the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics." - Saint Pope Pius V

"You poured down, O God, a generous rain: when Your people were starved You gave them new life. It was there that Your people found a home, prepared in Your Goodness, O God, for the poor. May the Lord be blessed day after day. He bears our burdens, God our Saviour. This God of ours is a God who saves. The Lord our God holds the keys of death. Kingdoms of the earth, sing to God." 

Psalsm 67: 10-11, 20-21, 33

13th May: Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima

She's pretty, isn't she? I'm pretty sure that we will find her even more magnificent and prettier when we meet Her one day.

"Mary stands before us as a sign of comfort, encouragement, and hope. She turns to us, saying: '...Commit yourselves to God, then you will see that it is precisely by doing so that your life will become broad and light, not boring but filled with infinite surprises, for God's infinite goodness is never depleted!' "

(Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, Homily on the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, 08Dec05)

Today is the feast day of our Lady of Fatima. Oh, what a joyous day! But at same time, I was sad as I was unable to do something to honor Her (I was planning to paint huge image of Her. But for some reasons, I was unable to get the big canvas as the shop took forever to reply to my enquiry.) However, at least I had spent time in heartfelt prayers and Holy Rosary with Her and Brother Jesus. I hope my little effort can make Her happy. 

Relating to the homily of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, I can testify for Mother Mary's message that God is really good all the time and can give infinite surprises. He even read the secret thoughts of my heart and gave me the answers that never fail to put smile on my face. For example, I was craving for roti prata for a while and did not tell anybody. For some reasons, I could not find roti pratas in all the places I had known. Last Sunday, my community happened to have potluck for the celebration of Mother's Day. There were roti pratas on the table. Fantastic! It is one example. There are many other miracles I had witnessed too.

But importantly, I come to love Mother Mary and recognize Her as the Ear of God. She is really powerful intercessor as with Her help, my prayers are always answered when they fit the benefits of my soul. O Virgin Mary, my soul praise you for being so faithful to God every moment. When you come to love Lord Jesus, you will also come to love Her Dearest Mother Mary as much as He loves Her. Remember the Calvary scene when He told His beloved disciple, Saint John to love Her and likewise told Her to love Saint John as Her son? Saint John, the Holy Apostle represents us. So naturally, we ought to love Her as our Mother. That is when I come to appreciate One of the Ten Commandments - to honor your parents and learn the valuable meaning of true love. God is True Love. If we love and forgive each other, we can find God easily. I also can boldly call Lord Jesus as my Brother since we share the same Mother. I think that if I had never known Brother Jesus and Mother Mary, I would not be able to get over the bitterness which I acquired from childhood to present time and forgive others easily. I am so glad not to be the son of this world. If otherwise, why this world cannot fit me in? I learnt that I should not only accept the happiness from God but also sorrows from Him. Sorrows are meant to detach us from this world so that we can be ready for Heaven. Only efficient for those who bear Christ's love. Praised be Jesus and Mary now and forever! "Sing praise for God, sing praise, sing praise to our King, sing praise!" (Psalms 47:6)

"Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin Mary too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did and If anyone does not wish to have Mary Immaculate for his mother, he will not have Christ for his brother." - Saint Maximilian Kolbe