God's words

Early in the morning, just after after midnight, I opened the Bible book and prayed for the guide of the Holy Spirit. Here it said:

"And people brought to him a deaf man who had a speech impediment and begged him to lay his hands on him. He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man's ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, "Ephphatha!" (that is, "Be opened!") And [immediately] the man's ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly." ~ Mark 7: 32 - 35

That's the healing of the deaf man. It always inspires my hope for hearing. I had been deaf since I was born. My world is completely different from the others. However, there's inner voice in my ears. It always talks to me all the time. I could not make out of it. Is it God speaking to me, I wonder? Anyway, I'll wait for Him to heal me. From now onwards, I'll keep myself holy and pure. No more sinning for me. I hope that God will give me a chance and change me into a new person.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me. Forgive me as in your Name, I forgive all the others who have sinned against me. Amen.

Anyway, i wrote down the Ten Commandments as a reminder. I hope that it will help you, the readers as it said: "..bestowing mercy down to the thousandth generation, on the children of those who love me and keep my commandments." ~ Exodus 20: 6

The Ten Commandments
1. I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God.
3. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
4. Honor thy father and mother.
5. Thou shalt not murder.
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
7. Thou shalt not steal.
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

A new activity

Finally, the pain from muscle sores has vanished. Thanks to God's words. Being inspired by the teachings from the Church of Risen Christ last Monday, I decided to try it out at home. I put all my heart, strength and mind into it. I used God's words to heal myself as if they act as a medicine. Amazingly, it became less irritated and less painful on the next day. God's really merciful to us. I believe that He will open my silent ears one day.

On the next day (Tuesday), I made a journey to my friend's house with his guide. We were discussing about the works for the church activity. For the special Christmas activity. I'm absolutely sure that I'm very busy on this December because I was also asked to perform a Maori wardance for the Charismatic Group's Christmas party. But it's just a small role and very easy to perform anyway. I better focus on the Arts works. It is very first time that I'm doing a big project for the church. I really feel happy and thrilled with it because I can exercise my talents for God. It could be an excellent lesson for me. A tough challenge as well. I hope that I will learn something new afterwards.

Blessed be God! Blessed be God! Blessed be God forever. Amen. Alleluia.

Pain, please go away!

I got a feeling. I won't be playing this Wednesday. Why? Because my arms are in a legion of pain. A terrible pain that I could not set them straight. When I tried to do that, I only felt so painful. Ouch.... *sigh*

This is the second time that I got such muscle sores. I guess that it would be going to last for eight days as last time. But now, I wish that it would cease tomorrow as there's coming game which I could not wait to perform my skills. Pain, please go away!

New World Order

The storm ended two days ago. Finally, it's over. Now, I'm residing in the new world. The world of leisure and peace. At this stage, I'm not sure what I should be doing to pass the time. Perhaps, I'm going to worship in the churches daily as usual. Now, I'm having another thought. I want to train myself to be fit again as there's coming game on Wednesday. A great test for me. I'm confident that I will put good effort in the game. I want to score a try which I had not even done so for long time.

Perhaps I can do better in my job as I have plent of time on my hands.

I hope that it would be different next year. No more difficulties for me, please. I hope that I would be able to hear next month without the aid of the hearing devices. Lord, have mercy on me and heal me. Please say the word and I shall be healed and may hear. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Friendship

It is one of important things in my heart. It's so priceless that no money can buy it. Without it, there's no love in the world. Hey, don't get me wrong. It's not the lust. Neither the boy-girl love. It's none other than heavenly love. It's like the family love. We should love each other as love comes from God.

Even though I treasure it very much, I sense that it's very injured and weak between some of my friends and myself. Once it was broken, it cannot be restored fully no matter how hard I try. I do not know why. I just feel awkward and uncomfortable whenever I see my friends whom I forgave after the break-up and patch up. I don't understand why it's so difficult to befriend again. I want to have a good and warm chat such as the old pals' meeting. Perhaps I'm not such a talkative person as I can't hear and live in a silent world.

From now onwards, I'll be more careful with my personal manner. I'll not hurt my other relationship with others again.

God, please forgive me and teach me to be patient and forgive the others for what they have done against me. Help me to restore old relationships with the others. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

A Day with the Lord

I can feel it. It's that the Lord is with me today. He was with me when I was enduring the trials earlier. I could not believe it when I was able to read clearly almost without any error. Although I could not express my views well when the lecturer pumped the questions into my head, I was happy enough to answer them. The Lord really has opened my mouth. I can't wait for Him to penetrate and open my ears so that I can hear properly.

Moreover, the Lord was also with me when I was "fighting" on the question test just now. I was perfectly as cool as the calm water and took everything easy as the test began.

I can sense that my fear within me has vanished. Forever. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ. Alleluia! Forever and ever! Amen.

Yes, i'm going to pray faithfully and with confidence from tomorrow onwards. Lord, please keep increasing my faith as I want to stay with you forever and ever. The glory and power are yours, now and forever! Amen.

Cold response

When I recently entered into my class, I felt that my greeting was expected in the class. But I chose to give cold and silent response which means I didn't bother to greet all my classmates. I did not know why. Earlier, I always greeted everyone when I came to the class. But this time, it's different. Perhaps it was my fault. I deleted my warm and friendly greeting habit and everyone chose to follow the suit. Perhaps the old friendship is like that. Everyone, please pardon me for not greeting you every time we meet. I am more concerned about my personal stuff than everything I see everyday. Sometimes, I was afraid that I would meet a wrong person since I somehow could not remember the acquaintances' faces. Moreover, I am not talkative since I'm not good at expressing my feelings as well as the speech.

Lord Jesus, please forgive me for sometimes being cold to others. I don't mean to do that but I don't have the choice. Please teach me and help me to be patient, friendly and warm. Courage me as well with your Holy Spirit. Make me feel confident in You as I believe that You can heal me and strengthen me in faith for You had healed so many people on the Earth long time ago. Open my ears and my mouth to make the others hear and see the truth. Thank you, Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen.

Invisible mistake

Although I had learned this important lesson long time ago, I often forgot about it whenever I enjoyed the leisure activity and the entertainments. It's none other than the laziness. I did not realize that I wasted a lot of time on the entertainments until the pressure of the works attacked me earlier. Even though my feeling was about to lose the temper, fortunately, I was able to control it with the help of the Holy Spirit and refrained myself from starting a quarrel with the others. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Amen.

I need to be patient and calm for the Lord's sake. Didn't I used to be coolheaded like the calm water when I enrolled into my school for the first time, did I? Dear God, please renew me with Thy Holy Spirit and keep me on the right track. Don't let me fall into darkness. Please do the same to my friends and beloved ones. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

I must be a hardworking type again for the goodness' sake. I'll probably sacrifice my sleeping time for the works today.

All right. Time to work now.

Cheers!~

A new schedule

Yesterday, a new air condition was set up in my room. Welcome, comfortable coolness. Goodbye, unpleasant heat. I thanked God for that air conditioner He gave me. I need it for an inspiration. Perhaps an extremely strong one. I hope that it will assist me in future whenever there are a lot of works. As well, I'm going to be independent. I mean I'm going to take the public transportation from tomorrow onwards. No longer depend on my mum's cab as I can see that she needs to work harder to ensure the stable income. When I get a fat salary next year, perhaps I'll be riding on a motorbike.

From now onwards, I'll not waste time on the entertainments and childish activities because there's not much time left. Yes, I'll work harder since I finally got peace at home. Perhaps I should not hang out with my classmates too much. Of course, I'll not sever ties with them as I treasure friendship. But since we are not very close and they choose not to spend time with me, I'll leave them alone and be on my own. Pals, don't worry about me. Just do whatever you want. I'm fine with myself.

For the coming holidays, I have no plan. But I think I'll be working by then. Or perhaps, I'll be mostly at the church for I'm faithful to God. All right. Time to do the works now.

Cheers!~

A Sports' Day

In the morning, my mum took me to Sentosa all the way. I was neither excited nor nervous. Just perfectly calm as the cool water. I wore the class shirt and was looking forward to see my whole class over there. But instead of my class, I met a church friend at the tram station. I still did not find my class even when I reached the destination. I received a message from my classmate that they had arrived. But still no sight of them. So I settled down with that friend and watched the scene quietly. I was being amused and envy when I watched the other people enjoyed with each other. After a while, I finally saw my class over there. They just arrived. No wonder I could not find them earlier. Sooner, I made a move and followed them. But instead, I found my class boring and dull as they just watched the stage and did nothing much. No game activity from them. So I decided to abandon them and joined my friend again as he was taking a stroll. At the moment, I saw two classmates from China enjoyed themselves with their friends or perhaps relatives and gladness and amusement were dancing in my heart. Later, I joined some of my class again and settled down with them as I felt very bored and weary. Moreover, I was down with cold and slight fever. At the moment, I saw my China classmates again. They were going to play the playground on the sea. I wished to join them but unfortunately, I was not feeling well. Nothing much happened except some activities were going on. I was just watching the scene as the time flew. At the noon, I changed and decided to join in as my two China classmates were having fun. I was swimming in the sea and happened to taste the seawater. It was so salty. But I did not bother about it and went on playing with them. As it was almost close to one o'clock, I went to the toilet to have a shower and change. Afterwards, I made the swift move towards the tram station as my mum was waiting over there for me. By then, I realized that I had a terrible headache that I felt dizzy. So I walked quickly. As fast as the lightning.

At the moment I reached home, the pain in my head was very horrible and unpleasant. I settled down on the bed as soon as I finished showering. What a day I have!

As I was typing the blog, I could feel the excitement in my heart as I'm going to have a new air conditioner installed in my room the next day. I could not wait as I believed that it would improve my inspiration. Great way for the schoolworks. Perhaps it could also shorten the time of achievement for the fat monthly salary. *grin*

Dear God,
Thank you for the everything You have done for me. Please continue to be with me all the time and bless my family as well. So that they will not suffer anymore and will be able to see the truth in Christ. In Jesus' Name. Amen. Alleluia forever and ever. Amen.

Healing power as my inspiration

Yesterday, I did not attend the churches except the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour because I had a bad cold on that time. In the morning, I almost overslept. Fortunately, my mum happened to have a stomachache and came home to find me sleeping instead of being prepared for the school. As soon as she woke me up, I showered and changed in high speed like the flash of the lighting.

In the moment of the noon, I found something wet in my nose. By then, I was having the running nose. At the same time, the feeling was uncomfortable and bitter in my throat. That was when I decided not to go to the churches as I did not want to spread the illness around.

After school, I went shopping in Paya Lebar and bought four products over there. Afterwards, I went to the magazine store to check my favourite magazine out but I could not find it. I guessed that it would be only available in Cheers stores. Afterwards, I pushed myself to the bus stop nearby and waited for the bus. As soon as I boarded the bus, I did not realize that my acquaintance was on the same bus. When I was standing and waiting for my destination, I felt that someone was looking at me. So I shifted my eyes onto the direction where my "feeling" pointed to. I received a pleasant surprise when I saw my acquaintance as well as the church classmate. I just greeted her as usual but I did not have a chat with her because I was having cold and sore throat so I did not want to spread it to her.

When I arrived at the church, the mass was almost ending and I could feel that the strength was revoking in my body. I just went straight towards the Charismatic room. It went on as usual. After the process ended, I asked some people to pray over me for the healing of my ears. Although I did not get the hearing instantly, I firmly believed that I would be healed one day.

Dear God,
I'm asking for healing over my ears for You are the Creator of all creations. I believe You can open my ears for the Lord Jesus Christ had healed so many people when He was on the Earth. Heal me and strengthen me in faith. Open my eyes to see the truth. Open my ears to hear God's words. Open my mouth to proclaim God's grace and glory. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Last day of diet activity

Finally, it comes to the end of the diet activity. Yes, I was lately slimming down to lose some weight. To remove the fats from my belly and in order to achieve the six or eight packs abs. Though I haven't got those packs yet, I'm sure that I will possess them eventually.

Although I did it to remove the fats from my belly, I would say that it was a terrible activity because I could feel my bones instead of my flesh. Last time, I looked bigger and more fit. Now, I almost look like a living skeleton. Moreover, I have lost my mighty strength and muscles have become smaller. Really not happy with it. But at least, I have removed the fats from my belly to reveal my abs.

From tomorrow onwards, I'm going to have four or more meals instead of two. ( ^ _ ^ ) b
I want to grow bigger and fitter like those bodybuilders. For rugby purposes. Perhaps wrestling in three or four years' time? Of course, I'm still doing the Catholic activities.

Oh ya. Next week, a new air conditioner will be set up in my room. Yes, I have confidence that my independent becomes stronger. I don't have to depend on my parents from then onwards. Perhaps, I'm going to take the bus and train as the transport instead of my mother's cab.

Heavenly Love

Two days ago, I attended the four churches to attend the Communion masses. I had a very special feeling towards it because Holy Spirit had helped me. He gave me strength so that I could witness all those masses for I had only a few hours of sleep beforehand. I tried very hard to put myself to do the works but I ended up playing too much. As the result, I did the works at the last minute. But it did not matter as I had God as my pillar of strength. Alleluia! Not only that but I also prayed witth all my strength and my heart. Before, I prayed for a while and then left. But this time, I poured all my heart onto my prayer. I was asking for the healing on my ears. Although the Lord did not open my ears this time, I was so sure that He would definitely heal me one day for He had healed so many people on the Earth in the past. At the same time, I asked the Holy Spirit to fill me with His fire of love so that I could witness the masses every day. I remembered that I asked Him for that in the past. As the result, I visited the church near my home everyday from late November to early May. Also, I attended the Charismatic masses weekly without failure. God is really good to me even though I sometimes fail Him. Now, I love Him more than before.

Lord Jesus, please open my ears and my mouth to heal me. Yes, I believe You can heal me. I trust in You. Amen.

A new inspiration

Finally, I got a new inspiration after reading some advices from my lecturer. Yes, I have become stronger in Catholic faith. I'll do all my might to clear the darkness in my heart. Lord, please watch over me as I'm growing my "mustard seed". Holy Mother, pray for me. My brothers and sisters, pray for me too.

Moreover, it was Hari Raya, a special day for Muslims two days ago. But I was celebrating Uncle's birthday by then. It was fun hanging out with them because I felt comfortable with love among them. After being told that my friend would be departing for Japan today for work, I was made to think about myself. Would I do the same in the future? Although I made a decision for that, I'm still uncertain as I found that my family did not have enough cash for my further studies. Moreover, I'm unable to find any customers for the commission. But after seeing two other friends off as they were going to fly on that day, I changed my mind and made a firm decision on my future plan. Yes, I have confidence that I'll not be in Singapore right after the graduation from my school in three years' time. Yes, I'll ensure that I see more than twenty thousands dollars being cashed into my bank account monthly in one year's time. By then, I will have financial freedom and be able to help the others in need.

Lord, thank you for giving me another chance and inspiring me. Alleluia! Forever and ever! Amen.

God really watched over me!

Recently, my mother told me that there were three guys from the rival school. They quit their studies and left on their own. They were foreigners. My mother heard this rumour from the radio.

Hearing this, I was shocked because I thought that school should be good since it was new and built not long time ago. On the second thought, I was blessed by God and He had planned everything for me. Failing to enrol into that school due to the lack of requirements from me, must be God's plan. He put me in the school I loved to the death. God is really so good to me and truly amazing. I'm sure that He is also good to the others.

In the past, I had been targeting the Raffles Junior College since I was secondary one. But I faced many setbacks and problems. As the result, I could not catch up with the results. But fortunately, God had not given up on me. He changed my views and put me on the right path. Perhaps it was good for me. I'm sure that God will watch over me as I'm planning to go to Japan to pursue the further studies. I really want to go there. Lord, please continue to watch over me and be with me all the time. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Cheers!~

Successful launch of my business website

I'm pleased to announce that I have set up my business website, Melaleuca. It's all about the products from Melaleuca, The Wellness Company. They have good value and good quality. Thus, they are very effective and cheaper than the other brands. I can assure you that you'll like them once you buy and try them on. Don't worry about the problems like they don't work for you. If you experience such the problems, you can return them and get the full refunds within sixty days as long as more than 90 percent of the products have not been used.

Just click on "Melaleuca" under "My business website". And you'll see the products. Those are the examples of the products. Give me time and I'll add more products for the information.

Anyway, if you are interested or want the better products, let me know. You can find my contact over there. I'll get back to you as soon as possible if you have contacted me.

Thank you very much! (^_^)

Cheers!~

The moment of strange feeling

Although I woke up from the plentiful rest, I sensed a plague of fatigue in my body. I slept for more than 12 hours yet I felt exhausted. Feeling lazy, I forced myself out of my bed and refreshed myself. I had the fibre food for the breakfast.

After an hour passed, I felt like I wanted to sleep. So I decided to take a short nap. Not long after I was in sleeping mode, I found myself in a dream. Although I was in the surrounding I could recognise, I felt that it was strange. Why? Because I saw two ghostly buses in the sky. Those buses are the local public buses I sometimes took.

I was on the field. The soccer field. I saw my two friends and happened to play with them. I was playing the goalkeeper. I was not a football fan. Strangely, I was able to block all the balls my friends tried to shoot into the goal as if i was the professional goalkeeper. By then, I noticed that I was in the stadium. But it was empty. I thought it was the old National Stadium in Kallang. As minutes passed, I noticed that it was getting darker and darker and the lamps were switched off. Almost, I could not see anything because it was so dark but I could feel and sense surrounding like I could spot the ball and block it off without using my eyes. When I was passing the ball to my friend, a male goalkeeper appeared and picked it up. I could recognise him as he was my acquaintance. I noticed that the lamps were opened and it was no longer dark. My friends and I sat with my acquaintance as he was discussing with us about the soccer. I kept quiet as I did not know what to say.So I happened to look around. I looked at the sky and saw some lights floating in the left direction. Firstly, I thought it was a ship or UFO. Then the bus with number 135 appeared on the lights as if it was a ghost. Again, it floated in the left direction and disappeared instantly. Then I looked back to the sky where the lights were first appeared. Again, I saw the bus with the same number. This time, it was different. When it passed by the tree, it transformed into the black ship. The warship.

Then I shifted my eyes onto the acquaintance. They were still chatting. By then, I happened to notice the foreigners. They looked like the English people. I was surprised because there were the girls. By then i shifted my eyes to somewhere. Again, I saw the people. There were so many of them. When my eyes were focused on the man with his hair which looked like the broom, I happened to wake up. By then, I had an unpleasant feeling. I did not know how to describe it. I noticed that it was getting dark and began to pour.

I felt that it was something to do with my future. I could not help but I was thinking about those buses.

All right. It's time for me to do something else.

Cheers!~

Revolution of my plans

As my schedules begin to squeeze time for rugby trainings, I feel that I have to put rugby on hold. I'm very rusty player. So it's time for me to train on my own and will be better next year. All right. I won't play rugby this year.

Now, I'm going to make my faith in Christ very perfect. Yes, very perfect! Yeah, I'm going to attend the churches everyday! I want to dance on the path of Light. I want to sing the praise for the Lord! Alleluia forever and ever! Amen!

Of course, I have not forgotten about the trainings. This time, they would be different. Very different from the past. I'm going to put more effort to acquire more strength and fitness. Yes, I would like to follow the bodybuilders' steps. (^_^) Wish me good strength. Not the luck. *grins*

Finally, I'm going to be very aggressive in the business from next month onwards. I'm sure that I would see the increase of the profits from time to time. It's very important because it concerns my future in Japan. O Lord, please watch over me. In Jesus' Name. Amen. Hey, guys. Look out for it. It's really good for you too since I'm working well in that business.

For the school, the grades do not matter much to me because I trust in the Lord. As long as I'm doing fine, I don't have to worry about the terrible and poor marks. Honestly, I'm very happy with the school. God is really good to me. Thanks be to God! Here I come, my beloved school! (^_^) Haha...

Cheers!~

Mighty Bull becomes Lazy Bull?

It seems to be true. Yet I can't really picture it as the fact. I become the Lazy Bull? Perhaps the age is catching up with me, I think so. Well.. I used to be so energetic before. But now, I grow weary easily. Perhaps I haven't got enough nutritions in my body. (>_<") I hope that it will change later on. But I really run out of the patience for the air conditioner. They said that the new air conditioners will be delivered to my home by this month. But how long? I can't really wait as I'm very exhausted already and I need some quiet moments to sleep. I dislike the foul scent from my family. I understand that they are simple minded and their activities are almost out dated. But their poor hygiene is totally unacceptable. No wonder I fell sick often in the past. Though my aunt suffers the mental illness, I really think that she should not be in our family for she is the burden to us and she does not practise the good hygiene. No matter how many times I had taught my family, my advices often fell on deaf ears. They still have the bad habits. No wonder there are a lot of dust, dirt and unpleasant materials at home. They don't treasure what they have.

For my aunt, i don't mean to describe her as the burden for her illness. But she currently has the two other siblings besides my father. I don't really understand why neither of them will take her in. Their children are already the adults now whereas I'm still young. Also, they hold the stable jobs whereas my parents are the only breadwinners in my family. Not fair to me. But it does not matter anymore as God is with me. I hope that I will be able to endure until the storm is over. Lord, please watch over my aunt and heal her. So that she'll not be a burden to us and will start working to reduce the financial pressure. And give me the strength to carry on with my life. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Oh ya. It seems that my blog is getting more boring and dull. After observation, I think that I should add some photos and pictures to improve it. Look out for them, guys.

Take care! Cheers!

Beginning of the holidays

I just woke up from the heavenly pleasant sleep. But I'm just a bit disappointed as I missed the hours for the strong rays of sun. I really can't wait to put myself to be sun tanned. But I have to eat some meals before I am ready to be under the sun for long period. At the same time, I'm thinking of working out in the gym.

Ok, I would officially state that I'm having the holidays now for the week. Or maybe one day? Well, I don't care as I still have plans to settle. My life is really colourful and fun. God is really good to me all the time! Praise the Lord forever and ever! Amen.

Cheers!~

My piece of works

This is my own work for the Sculpture lesson. I hope that it will give me good grades. =P Honestly, I'm not only one who do all the works but also my lecturer. He just helped me a bit adding some colours. I really learnt from him that Arts should not be plain but they should be very creative. So I'm determined to improve my creavity during the long breaks. For the other subjects except one of them, I should be doing okay. I should research more about it because I felt that my works were horrible. But the time is already nearer. There isn't much time left. So I'm sure that I'll definitely do better for the next assignment.

School life

This week, the assignments are draining my sleeping time. It is because I was too lazy to do as well as I did not have much ideas on the plans on the assignments. I mean I thought that the works were only specified on some materials. But the works of the others changed my views. It seemed that it was getting more challenging week by week. But I sometimes felt lazy at home. Although it was tough work and I had unpleasant feeling towards the school works, I still loved the life in my school because it made my life colourful and interesting. At home, i felt so dull and often felt boring. Even when I had the determination to finish all the works as soon as possible, my spirit would melt quickly as there were my parents at home. Often, I was disturbed and felt depressed by their presence as well as my aunt's. My home was full of dust and lack of the home manner. I wished that I would be independent so that I could do my own business in peace. I missed my cooking. I learnt that there would be long break after the submission next week. I hope that I would be doing my own desires as soon as those holidays start.

Fighting for the change of life

As the time is passing by, I find myself sinking deeper into the darkness. The more I push myself on to find the light, the more I find myself being tempted into the darkness. O Lord, have mercy on me and deliver me away from the temptations.

I told myself that:

~ I must pray faithfully to be close to God.

~ I must work harder to possess the finanical freedom.

~ I must train harder to stay fit and possess good skills on the field.

I hope that I will see the real results by the end of this month.

Charismatic Mass Last Night

As I was entering into the room for the Charismatic mass, I was greeted by the countless chairs. I was surprised at the thought of the sea of people attending that course. Usually, it was the small mass. I guessed that the organisers worked so hard to get more people. Anyway, it was nice to have more faces. The more the merrier it is.

At the moment someone came in, I happened to take a look at her face. By then I was about to recognise her. My mind was busy racking into the collection of the past. Suddenly I felt the joy dancing in my heart when I recalled her. She once worked for the hearing service in my primary school. So my legs took me to her despite the nervous feeling I had and I had a chat with her. Fortunately, she could remember me. So we caught up with times. The world is really small. God is really good to me for I am able to meet my old friends although we had been separated for long time.

During the meetings of the various groups, I happened to partner with some girls and boys. I was surprised to know that there were some foreigners among us. No wonder I recognised some foreign faces. During that time, I had learnt something new. My heart was dancing with joy as it was an excellent advice to me.

After the mass ended, Uncle gave me a lift despite my refusal answers as I preferred walking to home. I finally gave in after Aunty insisted to take me home.

Horrible feeling

I have been suffering the plague of pain on my arms since the workout at the gym two days ago. Yesterday, there was a slight pain and I did not bother about it as I thought that I would gradually recover but instead it grew and threatened my arms. I could not even lift the cup of water. And I could not make my arms stand in straight. Instead, it was bowed like the chicken wings.

I hope that the pain would disappear by the time the under 23s Midnight 10s starts. I cannot wait to play as I have not been playing the game for the long time due to my school.

Another familiar faces

As my legs were moving towards the MRT station from the school, my mind was so engrossed in the schoolwork and my eyes were fixed on the ground. At the same time, a fatigue had been plaguing me all along as I had been working on the project from the morning to the evening.. Suddenly, a hand waved across my sight. I almost did not notice it as it moved very fast like the lighting and my mind was not in a "focus" mode. But I turned my head around slightly to see who it was. It was Uncle and Aunt whom I met in the church near my home. As usual, I had a wide smile on my lips and waved my hand at them as the greeting. They did the same as well. It has been a while since we last met in that church. But I was amazed that they could remember me even though I had changed my looks a bit. The others like the one I met last Sunday, could not recognize me.

As I was passing the control station, I realized that I had become mature person as I no longer had the horrible feeling in my heart. I was more cool headed and happier than before. I believed that it was all due to God. He has changed my life into the new life. The joy was dancing in my heart at the thought of Him. I was so glad that I had changed into the Catholic Christian from my previous religion. I no longer depended on the others as I had God by my side. Praise the Lord forever and ever! Alleluia! Amen.

A familiar face

As I was exiting into the home station from the train, I happened to take a glance at the black shadow as it was walking past. At first, I could not recognised her. But as the time was running, my mind slowly created the picture of her face. By then, I could recognise her. Feeling of excitement had cracked up my heart and my legs began to move towards her. I happened to call her name and she responded. At first, while she was walking, she could not recognise me even she could see me clearly. By the time we faced each other, I could feel the electricity between us. Perhaps, it usually happens when the old friends meet after having not met with each other for long time. Her sweet smile lit my life up. It's my habit to be cheerful whenever I see sweet smiles. (^_^) So please smile whenever you meet me.

We had just a short chat. But what impressed me is that she's still pretty as before. I mean she's really prettier than before. I really regret not taking her last time. Hey! I'm just kidding. Haha...

That's all for blogging.

Cheers!~

What are going to be my future careers?

This question has been lingering around my mind for long time. When I was a kid, I had been wanting to be a soldier. But now, my dream of being the soldier has disappeared as I am not able to enrol into the army due to my hearing impaired. It does not matter as I still have so many choices to choose. In the past, I had thought of the artist for Fine Arts and comic artist. Even the actor was on my list. But now, I seem to change my mind a bit. I have no longer an interest in being the actor. I still want to be those other artists. Perhaps I can take those two jobs in one time. I also want to be the rugger representing for the national team and even the wrestler. For wrestling, I'm thinking about Japan since it is in Asia. At the same time, I'm thinking about the American Football.

What about being the chef? Why not since I can handle the cooking?

So many choices. This complicated question has depressed me a lot.

But I have confirmed my plans.

For this year, I'll be studying in my current school for the course. At the same time, I'm taking the catechism class for being baptized into the Catholic Christian. Then, I'll become the full time rugger next year. I'll be still studying till the graduation in three years' time.

Then after the graduation, I'll fly to Japan for another course. I'll take either wrestling or rugby. Or maybe I'll become the artist over there. I'm not sure about that. But time will certainly tell.

Lord, please watch over me and guide me with the Holy Spirit by the power of your love. My Holy Mother, pray for me. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

My first visit to St Joseph's Church

Yesterday, right after the class ended, I went to the food court, Kopitiam to grab a bite. Afterwards, I began to head for the Church of St Peter and St Paul for the mass. At first, I was thinking of putting myself in the adoration room in that church. But at the moment, I spied that the car park was almost full. By then, I checked the timetable of the churches. Oh yes, I forgot that the mass was going to be held over there soon. So I entered into the hall and celebrated the mass with the others and priest as well.

After the mass ended, I immediately picked up my bags and left for St Joseph's Church. At first, I thought it was shut tight except the door at its side was left open. But to my amazement, all its doors were opened. So I entered into the hall. Over there, the mass already started a moment ago. Again, I was in a great amazement made by the enormous size of its hall as well as the countless beautiful statues. It was my first time in St Joseph's Church.

Overall, I have motivated myself to keep my faith in Christ. I'm sure that my faith will never be shaken again by the Protestant Christians who had injected the confusion into my mind a few month ago. Nothing except God can change my life. O Lord, watch over me and protect me all the way. Take me to the Promised Land. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

That's all for blogging.

Cheers!~ (^_^)

What a good day...

As I'm typing, a lot of memories swim into my mind. I know today is National Day. That's Singapore's birthday. Although I was born here, I don't bother to celebrate this special day as my schedule for today is the top priority. Job, school and religion.. That's what my mind is telling me. I don't even celebrate my birthday. I am a strange boy, ain't' i? I have some reasons for that. Let my story begins.

Last Wednesday (1st August), after the lunch with some classmates, I visited the two Catholic churches, St Joseph's Church and Church of St Peter and St Paul. One thing about St Joseph's Church is that all the entrances of the church are shut tightly. I was wondering where the mass was being held over there. Perhaps it was held in the place where I saw the funeral. Or somewhere else perhaps. So I began to head for the Church of St Peter and St Paul, following the map's direction. When I reached there, I entered it without hesitation. Just for visiting and making myself comfortable. Afterwards, when I was about to leave, the two storey shop for the Christian items caught my eyes. I dropped by and was greeted by the beautiful sight. I was delighted to take a look and had been wishing to buy some eye pleasing items. But unfortunately, I was short of cash and some were very expensive. By then, I told myself that I would come again and shop when I have cleared my money debts. Afterwards, I made a quick move towards the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd as the time for the mass was nearer. The joy was stirring up in my heart as it was my first time over there. That church looked slight old. It was the oldest church in Singapore. It was built one hundred and seventy five years ago! Almost before the mass began, a familiar face caught my eye as he was walking to the seat. It was Uncle who was blind! I could not help but a wide smile was on my lips. I did not go and greet him as I could not communicate well due to my hearing impaired and his sight. I first met him during the Charismatic mass in the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. After the mass ended, I took some photos of those churches to kill some time before the three hours break ended.

Last Monday (6th August), I went to the church of St Peter and St Paul for morning mass. It was my very first time attending the mass in that church. Although I could not hear well, I could follow the process of the celebration as I was listening attentively to my hearing devices. After the mass, there was a mass for reading the bible. I think it was the Bible study. I did not know what to do as I did not have the book for that. Fortunately, there was a man who helped me. Afterwards, I began to make a move for the school for the lessons.





During the night training at NUS, my friend helped me to take photo of myself. (^_^) I planned to use for the school project but unfortunately, my classmate told me that it did not meet the project's requirement. He also remarked that it was blurred.

Yesterday (8th August), I attended those three churches, Cathedral of the Good Shepherd, Church of St Peter and St Paul and Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour for the masses. In the early morning, I went to the Church of St Peter and St Paul. Afterwards, I went to the adoration room for praying since there were much time before the lesson started. I felt peaceful and calm over there. Afterwards, I began to head for the school, feeling that the electrifying energy flowing through me. In the afternoon, we were having the three hour break before the next lesson. I followed three classmates as they departed for City Hall. Over there, we had the lunch. I ordered the Japanese food, Beef Pepper Rice Set with extra rice and cheese. It tasted heavenly delicious. Shortly, I left alone as I headed for the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd whereas my classmates stayed for the chat. Nothing unusual happened in that church. Afterwards, I left as I could not find the adoration room. Before I was about to exit from the church, I met an uncle. We had a pleasant chat. He told me that he had studied in Montfort Secondary School, my former school before. As I was leaving, I was smiling and wondering whether he knew my godfather who was also in Montfort Secondary School. By then I reached the Church of St Peter and St Paul, I entered it again for the adoration room since there was much time for the break to end.
In the night, I went to the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour for the Charismatic mass. Again, I saw blind Uncle over there. Nothing unusual had happened during the process except the Indonesian man whom I never saw before. He looked suspicious strange as he looked around as if he was seeing the invisible things. He even glared at me for long time. I thought that something was wrong as Aunty moved and stood some distance behind him. During the worshipping, he blurted out some strange words. I saw some people shaked their heads as if he was talking nonsense. Perhaps he was using his own language. Everything went normal after he left when the worshipping ended. Afterwards, I walked on the way to home.

That's all for blogging today. Happy Birthday to Singapore!

Cheers!~

My wishes ~ Impossible and Possible

As the time table has just changed since there is no meeting which I wanted to attend today. So I went back after the school by my mum's cab. After the shower, I took a short nap as the pain was invading in my body. So I must rest to battle this troublesome pain successfully. They came from the excessive exercises yesterday.

Although the painful feeling was almost gone, I was completely refreshed. But at the same time, I was in the chaos of rage. The thoughts of my parents were the source of the fire in my heart. I understood that they were much less clever due to their low education but I could not stand it when they refused to heed my advices and did not bother to lend me an ear. Small wonder my speech was very poor. They even did not know my needs and desires to affect my life. No matter what I did, they still did not get it. Often, they mocked at me. This explains why I am rebellious at home. In fact I'm boiling inside everyday. They drove me crazy more than enough. I did not hear any word of encouragement from them from my childhood. Not even love I felt. I only felt it when the other people treated me nicely. As well, this supports the reason that I'm good guy outside.

As I'm typing this blog, my heart has been wanting to write down all my wishes. I just want to share my ideas with the readers of this blog. It's all up to them whether they want to make the comment on this blog.

Wishes ~

1) Faith. This is my first important thing in my life. I believe in Christ for God loves us and He is good all the time. He always is there to comfort me whenever I am in distress. As well, He is always the first person I come to when I feel unhappy and want to cry. I'm going to be baptised into the Catholic this November. O Lord, watch over me and protect me from evil and temptation. In Jesus' Name. Amen. As well, I have Virgin Mary, Holy Mother in my heart for I see her as my mother.

2) Money. Although I'm not eyeing the wealth, obviously I need money to support my needs. I cannot depend on my parents all the time for they are not reliable all the time. As well, I need to pay off the current debt (My parents don't know about it.) Of course, I need the car for the transport for I'm sweaty type (I sweat profusely after even five minutes walk. Can you image it when I walk some distance to school from MRT station.) and my mother always complains and sometimes comes late every time I call her out for the ride. Often, she always panic me whenever I need to reach the various places urgently.

3) Healing. I'm feeling this painful emotion almost everyday. I hope that the Lord will take me away from this miserable world. As well, I want to be healed of my hearing impaired. So that I can hear God's words and my communication with the people would improve gradually. As well, I think that it can improve the relationship between my parents and I.

4) Strength. This is for my favourite game - rugby. As well, I wish to be huge like the giants so that I can balance or even overcome the strong opponents. Yes, I want to be strong guy as I'm aiming at the wrestling and American Football.

So far, I don't have any more ideas of my wishes. I hope that tomorrow will be better.

Cheers!~

What a busy day...

Today, I received the long list of complains from my brain. That report came from the parts of my body. I did not realize of that because I was so determined to score my goals. I was so focused on my targets that I forgot about the exhaustion till now. Now, my eyes begin to feel heavy and my skin begins to feel smooth as I'm typing this blog. It is time for me to turn in. But firstly, I want to write down everything I had in my memories.

In the early morning, my vibrating alarm clock woke me up. It was around five o'clock. But when I was awake, my eyes refused to open and my body still wanted to carry on feeling the comfort of my bed. Only my mind was the opposite side. It had me determined to follow my timetable I created for my wellness. Fortunately, I managed to carry myself to the toilet where I washed up and became refreshed. By the time I had finished, my legs took me to the cupboard and my hands reached out for the socks. After my feet fitted into the socks, my hands began working in the search for the keys since my eyes could not work due to the darkness of the room. By the time I closed the gate door, my body began to feel the electricity of energy flow through my body. As well, I could feel the heat although the atmosphere was almost freezing and chilling.

After jogging, my body had been nagging at me for some relief. So I drank some cold drink from the refrigerator and took the warm shower. During the showering, the mixed feeling of pleasure and relief had been flowing from head to toe. To add the childish fun, I made my own silly song.

After the breakfast and the preparation for the school, I began my journey with my mother's cab. When I reached the campus, I entered the lift and it took me to the fourth floor. But I was attacked by the panic as soon as I could not find the classroom and saw the place uncomfortably small. I guessed that my friend gave me the wrong direction. I told myself that I should trust my judgement as last time I read the notice which said that the classroom was held in the other building behind the campus. When I reached the building, the doubts had been haunting my thoughts. "The classroom is in the Kindergarten?" That's what I thought first. But the security guard assured me that it was right place. So I entered without hesitation. But I found the place empty when I reached the fourth floor. The air conditions were still on. But it made me feel like that the ghosts were wandering around there. Like the ghost town. So I went downstairs laughing at my ridiculous remark to find the office to confirm whether my class was going to start over there. But still I found it empty from the outside view. I went upstairs again. To my relief, I found some people in the classroom. So I entered and settled down to get ready. When the teacher arrived, I noticed the aura of familiar feeling around her. I remembered her as I met her when I sat for the English test in the school. Fortunately, I saw that she recognised me. I really felt comfortable with her and believed that I would be able to speak well under her guide within the short time because she taught well and clearly. Better than the secondary school teachers who were somehow boring. So I told myself that I must work harder for my future.

After the school, I went to NUS for the training by my mum's cab. It was much more tougher than before because I already ran out of the energy battery in my body in the halfway of the training. As well, I was almost soiled from head to toe due to the wet ground.

That's all for the blogging.

Cheers!~ (^_^)

Random questions I had in the mind

After reading countless quiz from the various websites, it seems to be fun and harmless. If they can do it, why not?

From brainstorming...

1) I like to - go home where I can find the Heavenly King, Our Lord and Our Holy Mother.

2) I hate to - sin and do against my conscience.

3) I hate it - when there is no understanding between my parents and I.

4) I love it - when I am doing the Arts works.

5) When I feel bored - I would train myself in fitness.

6) When I face some difficulties - I would pray.

7) When I want to find my dream girl, she would be - gentle in her nature, understanding and compatible.

8) When I am lonely - I would find something to distract myself.

9) How many friends I have - I have so many friends but I'm not really close to them. I just prefer to be on the quiet side.

10) What I want - An intimate relationship with God and my Holy Mother.

11) What are your dream careers? - Artist ( Fine Arts and Comics), Wrestler and Rugger

12) What is your very first drawing? - A crying child

13) I'm allowed - to do everything I believe and want.

14) What are your speaking languages? - Only English. I want to learn Japanese and Chinese.

15) If you had the choice in the past - I would be the normal person who can hear, see and speak. By then, my family would not be in broken state.

16) What's your dream house? - A simple house with the comfortable needs. And the Christian objects like the cross as well.

17) What are your desires? - Being with Our Lord, representing the national rugby team and being the wrestling champion.

18) What movies would you want to watch? - The Red Cliff and Onimusha.


Anyway, my mother has bought the camera for me today. I was very delighted to see it as I need it for the project. I really lack the patience to start working.

Have to go now.

Cheers!~ (^_^)

The school life

Five days have passed since the first day of the school. So far, I have learnt that it would be going to be very challenging as there were still many things in ahead of me to learn. As I am somehow little rusty after having not putting my talent to use for two years, I have motivated myself to work harder. I know that the Lord is on my side and guided me along the way. As well, I have Virgin Mary, my Holy Mother. Lord, I trust in you. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For the school, I find it fun and interesting. Unlike my former secondary school, I did not find myself sleepy and boring during the classes. When it seems too difficult to do, I pressure myself to work harder. Finally, I can do it. I have confidence that I will study oversea after the graduation from my current school. So now, I am so determined to work harder no matter how heavy the pressure is. Moreover, I love the busy schedules where I cannot meet the boredom I dislike the most. As busy as the bees, I'm so engrossed in the works and personal things. Also, it's the best thing for me to kill time while waiting for the time I'm going to be baptised to be Christian. Glory to the Lord forever and ever! Amen!

I wonder when I would get my wishes to fulfill. But it does not matter as I'm doing the things I love and feel that they are more important in my life. So far, I'm glad that I have overcome my hunger for the love. I mean I'm not at the exact position to look for the steady girlfriend. I don't want to carry on talking about it because it sounds so corny. *grin* Haha.. Moreover, I'm still too young for that. So I leave it to God for He knows everything. Praise the Lord! Amen.

My mood is enjoying itself in the bath of joy as my skin is feeling the cool atmosphere of the cold air. I really love the rainy days to the death! (^_^)

Cheers!~

First Day of the School

I could not sleep well last night. I guess it was due to my excitement and nervousness. Before the first lesson, I noticed there was a quite lot of student outside my classroom. I wondered whether we shared the same class. Also, I recognised some familiar yet strange faces. Even the former contestant of Singapore Idol greeted me with a smile even though we did not know each other. Perhaps it was the somewhat human nature to recognise and greet the strangers. So I greeted her back with the respectful smile. During the lesson, I noticed there were some students in the class but did not bother to count them. After a while, the teacher took us to the computer lab. The lesson was so interesting even though I could not get what the lecturer was talking because it was too dark in the lab since he was using the powerpoint. But during the period, I noticed there was a girl who looked like Japanese. Then there was a half an hour break. I was on the way to the toilet but I talked to the boy nearby who was my classmate. We introduced each other and chatted for a while on the way. After relieving myself, I noticed that he was a quiet type since he sat by himself. So I went to him and asked some questions about the class. Honestly, he behaved more like my old friend who was usually quiet besides the strangers but was almost talkative with his friends. Then, after the chat, I excused myself and went on the way to the other classroom where the lecturer instructed us to go to after the break. I happened to meet the "Japanese" girl. So we introduced each other. During the first conversation, she was speaking in the foreign language which I realized later that she was speaking Chinese. And also, she told me that she came from China. I did not realize that until she smiled to reveal her "China" look as she almost looked like Japanese. I guess that I should not judge the book by its cover. How clumsy of me. (>.<") As well, she was a bit older than me and in her amazement, she told me that I was so young. We laughed a bit. Afterwards, we went to the same classroom. We took the different courses. But I did not know why we shared the same class. Perhaps the school put the students in the random manner. During the class, there was one more lecturer besides our first lecturer. They were teaching us about the photography progress.

After that, the whole class was going to another class for the next lesson. However, some of us lost the way as we were unsure of the location of the classroom. The same girl and I went on the search for the class on our own as we lost our classmates. But instead we went to the wrong class. Again, we laughed. After a moment of rush, we finally reached our destination class. The lecturer was going to teach us to draw but he asked us to buy some necessary stationery for the lesson at the shop on the ground level. So we went there and buy some materials. To my amazement, A2 drawing block was so huge that it was quite heavy to carry. During the lesson, the lecturer was teaching us some basic drawings. It was so fun and he was helpful as well. Although he looked strict, he sometimes cracked some jokes. I drew as much as I could put my talent. Fortunately, the lecturer did not find any mistake in my works. I was so confident that I could do well in the future. Much better than my former school who did not recognise my talents.

After school, my mum picked me up. I told her that I wanted to go to Yio Chu Kang stadium for the training. But instead, she took me to Choa Chu Kang. My goodness.. She mistook my pronunciation of Yio Chu Kang for Choa Chu Kang. At first, I thought that she was mistaken and took me to Bukit Timah as she was driving along the Bukit Timah road. So I told her that I wanted to go to Yio Chu Kang. But she assured me that she would take me to there. So i relaxed. But when I noticed the notice shown, "Choa Chu Kang", my mind was stinking into the confusion. My mum pointed that sign and said," It's that you want to go, huh?" Of course, I protested loudly and said," It'ssssss YIO CHU KANG!" Then she realized that she made a mistake. Instead of apologise, I only received the rude remarks and curse from her. She kept cursing that I was so stupid and should make a correct pronunciation. But is it her fault for not teaching me to speak well? She never had taught me to make correct pronunciation. Moreover, her English was so poor. I could not blame her. Instead, I was relaxing. Actually, my heart was laughing at her for being childish.

When I reached the training place, my body burst into an enormous energetic one. Of course, it was so difficult since the ground was so wet. But as soon as I fell into the ground and sank my hands into the soft ground, the feeling of gross ran up to my brain from my soiled hands. At the same time, the anger was cracking through my skull. So I became aggressive and took the ball whenever I could and charged at my opponents. As the result, I got cuts on my left forearm. But it did not matter as I had learnt that I should attacked the ball and charged while equppied with it. As well, I had learnt how to grip it tightly when the opponents tried to steal it. After the training, I was so soiled from head to toe. As well, the bathroom was filled with the brown flood as the dust and soil had blocked the waterhole. While waiting for my mother, I saw my friends. I was amazed to see my friend drive the car. It was my first time to see his car. But his car did not belong to him and it was for rental. I joined them for the chat as they were going to the coffeeshop for the drinks. Boredom did not affect me as I was so busy chatting with them. They were really my good friends. Haha... It was time for them to leave and I bid them farewell.

Finally, my mum arrived. We went to the coffeeshop for the supper. Mutabak was so delicious that it melt in my mouth. Yummy! Haha...

That's all for blogging. Really enjoy it. Really look forward to the school.

Cheers!~

Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

My mind had been rushing and changing myself into impatient character as I was trying to catch what the teacher was teaching in the catechism class. My thoughts of blogging down about the NAFA, Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts were flooding through my brain. As soon as the class and the communion mass were ended, I made a sincere prayer to the Lord and my Holy Mother and left the church. But by then, I forgot about the NAFA. So I was walking in a relaxing manner on the way to home. When I reached home, I took the shower immediately and watched the Hong Kong film DVD. The show was the latest film, "The Drive of Life". Before that, I was expecting the show, " Green of Hope" because I wanted to catch the final chapters before I completely finished that show. The Hong Kong films had never failed to entertain myself and arouse my excitement on the television whereas the local films had drive myself into the legion of boredom I disliked the most. There was also the American variety show. It was the American Funniest Video, my favourite show. I loved filling myself with the laughters.

After the "The Drive of Life" show, I started to feel tired and did not like to carry on watching even though there was exactly the cds of latest wrestling shows which were my favourite entertainment in front of me. I began to head for my room as the thought of the computer was charged on my mind. Here comes my experience in NAFA.

Last Thursday, I was taking the English test in NAFA to determine the level of English house should I take later on. Honestly, I was a bit nervous about the test beforehand. When I started to read all the questions, a smile was created on my lips and laughter of joy was stirred up in my heart. My prayer was answered. Praise the Lord! Amen. Honestly, I really found them easy. They were exactly like the primary five schoolworks. I guessed that they were put to test because they wanted to test our English experiences. Also, there was a pretty teacher who helped me to clear my doubts and nervousness. Before the test started, I noticed there were foreign faces among us. They looked like they came from China, Tawian, Japan and Malaysia. I could not find any familiar Singaporean faces. After the test, I went home cheerfully and at the same time, I was exhausted due to the lack of sleep. So I got the plenty of rest after the nice shower.

Yesterday, I went to NAFA again for the school orientation in the morning. Honestly, I was a bit nervous since I was only one hearing impaired student. But at the same time, I was glad that I could do well on my own. In the theatre, I was so engrossed in the handbook and information book about NAFA and was so busy asking around for the student card. Finally, I got the card and went back to my seat. Then I noticed the mixed sea of the foreign and local faces filled the whole atmosphere. The orientation went well except the lunch break. During the lunch break, it was so boring since I could not find any familiar face to talk and I was greeted by the aliens who talked about the so called clubs and Internet. I told them that I was not interested because I got the Internet at home and the rugby club anyway. Also, I was asked by the group leader where I came from. I told her that I was the Singaporean. By then, I saw the surprised look on her face. I did not bother to ask her why she looked like that because I was always approached by the first question from the new people, " Where do you come from?" Also, my new friend recently told me that I looked like Japanese. So i shrugged as I did not know why although I came from Chinese background. I was filled with excitement when I toured along the library and the classrooms. I was amazed to know that there was a student lounge in the library where I could relax with the magazines, televisions, cds and computers. The classrooms were big enough for the schoolworks, projects and learning. They were bigger than the so called local schools. At least, I felt comfortable in that room as I loved the scent of arts rooms. I would accept it if the works were getting more difficult and tougher because my passion was there. It was better than my stupid school and parents who did not appreciate my passion for Arts. During the last tour, I was wandering helplessly around as I lost my group. Blame on my hearing impaired as I could not catch what the leader was speaking. When I finally found two Indian girls who were in the same group, I approached them for help. Fortunately, they guided me to the computer lab where I should register. I did not know why but I really felt comfortable with them and could even communicate well with them. As I was registering with the computer, I was given the extra subjects to choose. Honestly, I did not know what to do as I was not sure of my decision. Instead, I chose one subject based on my guess. Then, i completed the form, gave it to the teacher in charge and left. I was free to move around. I went to the second floor to submit the form My mum drove me home. I was frozen with panic when I later read the handbook about those subjects. I should take the other one. Never mind, I could learn from the difficult subject anyway. I looked forward to the school day. Holy Spirit, please guide me to the right path of truth and protected me from unneccessary dangers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

I could not believe my eyes when I read the timetable via my email. I only had four school days in one week. Two of them stated that I started schooling in the noon. Although there were more girls whom we shared the same interest, I did not encounter any love. It was true that most of them were pretty but I was really not interested as I was so determined in my goals. Yes, I was going to juggling my four activites. Lord, give me strength to stand firm with your glorious way.

Cheers!~ (^_^)

A struggle with a fierce war of the mixed emotions

I cannot make it clear for my feeling I'm having now. It's kind of mixed emotions of joy, sorrow and anger. Some time, I had been happy. At the same time, I was in a rage. I tried to be happy all the time but the family problems had been fueling my anger. Just now, I was trying to relax and about to put myself to rest but suddenly, the thought of what my parents did to me, flashed in my mind. As the result, I could not sleep well as I was so furious. It was not first time.

If my parents had been so supportive, I would not be in the bad state (having nightmares and facing high pressure) and might even do better in school and sports. You see, they are always disapproved me of what I did because they are so pessimistic about me since I'm deaf and cannot speak well. And if there was no aunt staying in our place, perhaps we could do better and my parents would be on good terms. Honestly, she is suffering the mental illness. I mean she's somewhat mad. I understand her state but she has been idling at home like the lazy bum for long time. The attempts of getting her to hold the job had been failed. What I cannot stand is the lack of our communication. There is the barrier of the language that affects our communication. You see, I speak English whereas they speak Chinese. If I were to learn Chinese from primary or secondary school, I would talk to my parents better. But I think that it does not work since they are very stubborn in nature and do not trust my knowledge and judgement. It was the most heaviest burden I had been carrying all those years. I felt that they gave me either too much care or lack of concern because they did not encourage me to make friends outside. Not even the neighbours. They are really full of judgement because they always think that the friends I make are not reliable and from the bad backgrounds. There are many more words I want to write about my family. Thousands of them... Millions of them... But none of them can relieve my pain and nightmares. I wonder whether I should stay with them in the future. I often thought that staying away from them is the best opinion for me since I've been so uncomfortable with my parents. In the past, I often had been quarrelling with them. I knew it was wrong of me but I really could not stand them. Many people told me that I'm blessed with good fortune. But I don't think that it's true because I'm struggling with this problem since I was a child!

Let's talk about happy things as my heart is hurting very much. Last Saturday, I was meeting Kelvin Goh in Paya Lebar after attending the evening mass in the church. He was funny because his pronunciation was poor and he was a bit blur and clumsy. When he was trying to say "Geylang", I thought he was referring to "Glen". Haha... I really heard him saying, "Glen". And also for " Paya Lebar", he said," Purple Lebe" Funny, right? No wonder Mr Khiew asked why he was "blur king". Before we went to Geylang, we went to the bookstore in the Singapore Post Office as I wanted to buy the latest book, Singapore True Ghost Stories volume 16. Then we had dinner in Geylang. After the dinner, we began chatting. I was recommending the business and some home products to him. I saw his impression was good on that business. I hoped that he would join it in the future as he said that he would think about it. Then, he showed me the card. It was about the prayer. He was praying for my desires in life. Lord, hear our prayer. In Jesus' name. Amen. Afterwards, we went on the separate ways.

Last Sunday, I was attending the RCIY parent meeting with my godfather in the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. Even though I did not visit the Church of the Risen Christ for long time, he did not feel angry or scolded me. Instead, he gave me an useful advice. He said that I must always do all the promises I made. Otherwise, people would not trust me. I knew this advice all along because one boy had always been breaking his promises. Same way for my parents. Though I failed to keep the promises for attending the church with my godfather, I really did not have the choice. I was so depressed lately. I even failed to turn up for the trainings. For the meeting, they were talking about the purpose of RCIY and the baptism. I was so delighted to be going to be baptised by 24th November. I really can't wait to be one of the children of God. God is really good all the time! (^_^)

Cheers!~

7th July 2007

There was an exciting match at Yio Chu Kang yesterday. It was the rugby competition between Bedok Kings and Singapore Armed Force for the Cup trophy. It was final match of Under 20 league. Before that, I went with my Malay friends. I left my home early as I expected to meet them just on time. But instead, they came late. By the time we met, we were ready to head for the Bungy Bar in Clarke Quay, Bedok Kings' hangout. Over there, there was the gathering and we were having lunch and meeting. Besides those activities, there was really nothing to do as I sat there, doing nothing except chatting with my friend. As there was time to depart, we received our jerseys with numbers. I received no 16.

When we reached the Yio Chu Kang by the coach bus, we changed and prepared ourselves. During the game, it did not look well in the beginning as the Singapore Armed Forces were strong like the Blacks we battled against before. We were often careless as two players missed when they tried the penalty kicks respectively. So far, overall, we scored only one try whenever our opponents scored many times. As the result, they won as the champions and we were labelled as the runners up. I noticed the disappointment on some teammates. But it did not bother me. This game was just the game. Why get serious about a small loss? We can win back next year. Even though ACJC may not play for us next time, I have confidence that we, Bedok Kings can do it on our own. This thought inspires me to train harder. I could not suppress a smile on my face when I received the silver trophy.

After we changed, we took the coach bus to go back to Bungy Bar to have the dinner. I knew there was the game between Australia and South Africa on the television. I managed to watch it a bit but I was not interested. I did not know why I was like that. In the past, I looked forward to it. Perhaps I was too tired. The dinner was yummy especially the chicken wings. After the dinner, I went out with some pals to meet other team mates at McDonald. They were having dinner over there. For me, I was having the strawberry sundae. I wanted to order the chocolate one but I was slightly sick. So I chose the strawberry instead. We were having the chat and some jokes as well.

After the Bungy Bar, we were going back. I left too as I was exhausted. As I was in the train heading towards to my home station, some thoughts had been lingering around my mind.

As my new school was approaching, I had to prepare to work harder. My friend told me that it would not be easy as I thought because there was a lot of schoolworks. Not the papers like the secondary school's homeworks and revision papers but a lot of creavities was involved. Like drawing and painting etc. They would not even spare your time for sleeping. My friend told me that sometimes one work consumed 24 hours per day. As the result, my two friends who studied in the arts school were having a lack of sleep due to heavy works. But it should be no problem for me as I had sacrificed some nights for the school and job before. I once did not go to bed for four days for the busy schedules. Yes, I'm determined to work harder in school. (^_^) As well, I'm determined to work harder in rugby purpose and my current job. Although it was not easy, I would work hard to carry on. I already knew that there was a difficult road ahead of me. So I had prepared for that. I did not have to mind the other people's opinions on me as they did not know what was on my mind. Even my parents did not share the same thought with me. They refused to fight along with me when I was a child. I admitted that my mother had disciplined me to do well in school and took care of me from childhood but honestly she did not teach me well. Not even one word of encouragement from her. Only she pacify me with some food, disciplines like caning and scolding etc, toys and video games. It's true that they had pacified me. But I felt that it was wrong because it added the fuel to my wants for more toys and games. So it's best if she can comfort me and encourage me because I have been lonely since childhood although I have some friends. When I was bullied, insulted, so lonely and heartbroken, she was not there to comfort me. She just caned me for I was naughty. Honestly, she caned me too when I was innocent and did not know what wrong I did. She refused to listen to my explanations. As the result, I grew up as the bad boy. Cut to the point. This was the reason that I determined to work harder on my job to be independent. I hoped that I could meet my expectations within one month. For the rugby, even though I could not make it to the later matches due to my course I'm having on the same time with the games, I would go to the trainings to catch up with rugby. I would train harder so that I could play for the division one which was for the stronger and bigger guys.

Overall, I'm willing to learn any mistakes ahead of me. Lord, please watch over me as I have faith in you.

Cheers!~

Sunday Mass

Yesterday, I was attending the mass at the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. Before 1715(time), I was meeting my friend, Clarence. He lent me the red shirt which represented the Charismatic Mass and taught me what to do during the mass as I was responsible for carrying the flag which represented the Charismatic Mass. I saw so many flags in the church. I supposed that the church would be crowded. Honestly, I was a bit nervous but I still wanted to do it as I wanted to do my part for the Charismatic Mass. I saw some people whom I could recognise but I did not bother to go to them and greet them. I was just content that I could see them from afar. At 1715, we were having the Rosary Mass. There were five different languages used in the Rosary Mass: English, Chinese, Tagalog, Malayalam and Bahama Indonesian. The strange part was that I could follow the praying and hear very clearly. After the foreign language used to pray the first part, the English was used to pray the last part.

After the Rosary Mass, we were having a short break because it was not time for the Communion Mass which started at 1800 yet. Now, it was really crowded. There were Aunty Lena, Aunty Monica, Aunty, Clarence and me who represented the Charismatic Mass. Also, there was an empty seat among us. Perhaps, we could have more space, I thought. Then some people asked us whether the seat was available. I heard Clarence told them that it was reserved for one person. I was wondering who it was for. Suddenly, the thought of one person flashed in my mind. It was Cherlyn. I was correct in guessing when she finally arrived late. During the Communion Mass, it was usual practise until there was time for representing the icon of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. So I went to the flag where I was supposed to carry. Yes, I was feeling slight nervous. But after a while, I became calm perfectly. Thanks to my little prayer. Some people carried the huge picture of Virgin Mary out of the Church. The flower girls followed them. Then, Altar Servers followed as well. There were other people whom I was not sure to name. I could see almost everyone leaving the church as I was carrying the flag out of the church. As well, when we were outside the church, I saw the sea of people coming out of the church. I guessed that they were following the picture of Virgin Mary. While we were moving in slow motion around the church, I heard the voices among us. We were having the Rosary Mass along the path. So I proudly followed them in praying. I even shouted as loud as I could and held the flag as high as I could. All the way, neither I lowered my voice nor I lowered the flag. They remained loud and high until we reached the hall where we came from. I was really proud and happy to be Catholic Christian. Nowadays, I feel so confidence that I could live the holy life where I can pray faithfully. After the Rosary Mass, we went back to our seats. For me, I remained standing near the flag. After the mass ended by the priest, I went to my group and greeted them. Clarence returned my bag to me. Cherlyn gave me the new red shirt but I rejected it kindly as I disliked the red colour.

Afterwards, we went on the separate ways. I was walking to home. Honestly, on the way, I was feeling happy and proud. I could not help having the wide smile on my face. When I was having the bed, I could sleep peacefully without waking up for the short moment. Finally, I can sleep peacefully for eight hours or more after having the trouble of sleeping for one month.

Today, I'm having the appointment with my new friends. I'm going to the Paya Lebar Post Office this evening. I hope that I will be successful in being the Market Executive afterwards. Well, I don't know how to explain what it is to do with my new friends as many of you don't know what it is to be market executive.

Importantly, I would like to thank God for lifting me up in spirit. Praise the Lord! Forever and ever! Amen!

That's all for today.

Cheers!~ (^_^)
Mood: Very happy