Rest in peace

I was working when I received the SMS from my mother last Sunday. It read that my grandmother just passed away. I was struck with the sorrow. So I attended her funeral wake last Wednesday and Thursday to honor her. Although I was feeling a bit uncomfortable as they performed the chinese ritual, I did my best to follow the instruction as required in the process. However, I found myself seeing Lord Jesus most of time. Yes, I was praying to Him for my grandmother. So I was not affected by the grief but was filled with hope that my grandmother may be pardoned and going to the heaven where she can see Him. I'm determined to work harder now. I certainly hope that my family will convert to Catohlism one day.

Unconditioned love

When my mother told me that my grandmother was in the hospital as she did not feel well and even was on the verge of the death, my heart was struck with the grief. I was fighting against the tears in my eyes. It is something I cannot explain of. I do not have strong relationship with my grandmother as we never talk to each other although we had chatted very little due to our language barrier. Yet when I stepped into the ward room, my tears started to flow uncontrollably. When my eyes met her eyes, I saw the tears in her eyes. I tried to speak but I could not. So I could only hold her hand as if it was my treasure. I wish I knew the Chinese language right now.

What a busy life!

Whoosshh! Finally, I have the chance to write down the blog. I'm not feeling excited about the study trip to Kukup in Malaysia at all. But at least I can draw and paint some pictures over there! Hoepfully, I will be very productive and hardworking. *laugh* But what is annoying me is the people's attitude towards me. Usually, they were so friendly to me. But now, they act as if they have something against me. I guess now, their true colours are revealed. Well, I can forgive them but I will not talk to them again. Let's say I want to have neutral relationship after the hostile one. I know it's very negative and different from Lord Jesus' commandment, "Love your enemy as thy neighbour." But there is nothing I can do since I'm unable to speak and very prone to misunderstandings. Maybe I should ignore them whenever I meet them as if I do not know them.

What I'm worried is my relationship with God. Not the homeworks. I have not even prayed for long time. Hopefully, I can slow down and mediate to regain my praying strength in Kukup. Next week, I'll be renting the room near the school. Hopefully, it will work out well for me. Yes, i'm still continuing to work the part time job.