Is life unfair?

Remember Jesus sleeping in the boat during the storm?

A friend of mine stated online that life sometimes is so unfair. This provoked my inevitable thought: "Is life unfair to me?" I shook my head because God is good all the time. Everyone has a different life respectively according to the Holy Will of God.

"My little boat seems having it rough with fierce storms and raging seas. But I am still happy because I know my Sweet Jesus is sleeping in my little boat. He will calm everything and restores peace when He wakes up."

My little boat represents my life. Fierce storms and raging seas represent my difficulties and trials I face everyday. I am still happy because I truly believe that my Lord Jesus is resting at the heart of my life as I receive Him through Most Holy Communion in a state of grace everyday. I know I will attain eternal life and eternal happiness through Lord Jesus Christ.

Saint Josemaria Escriva de Balaguer said, "A piece of advice I have insisted on repeatedly: be cheerful, always cheerful. Sadness is for those who do not consider themselves to be children of God." Saint Peter, our first Pope also said:

"Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while because of the many kinds of trials you suffer. Their purpose is to prove that your faith is genuine. Even gold, which can be destroyed, is tested by fire; and so your faith, which is much more precious than gold, must also be tested, so that it may endure. Then you will receive praise and glory and honor on the Day when Jesus Christ is revealed. You love Him, although you have not seen Him, and you believe in Him, although you do not now see Him. So you rejoice with a great and glorious joy which words cannot express, because you are receiving the salvation of your souls, which is the purpose of your faith in Him." (1 Peter 1:6-9)

If you have prayed a lot and still find life unfair, the two Saints can give you some advice. Saint Joseph Calasanctius said, "As long as a single passion reigns in our hearts, though all the others should have been overcome, the soul will never enjoy peace." And Saint Augustine said, "We ought to be persuaded that what God refuses to our prayer, He grants to our salvation."

Saint Rose of Lima

Saint Rose of Lima

I was very impressed with her story. She was very beautiful in her lifetime. Her mother wanted her to wear beautiful clothes, but Saint Rose would say, "Mother, only beauty of the soul is important." Wow!

Saint Simon Peter said, "Your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:4)

Love bank

It's too small? But it looks big to me.

If you are worried about how much you have in your bank account, then I am most worried about how much I have in my love account. Without love, I cannot think of my Lord and beloved ones.

"What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks lie."

Saint Augustine

I am a sinner yet called by God.

Saint Peter (Hopeful) vs Judas Iscariot (Hopeless)

An inspiring story was shared by a friend of mine over the lunch. She was taught by her relative that there were two betrayers among twelve disciples of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Naturally, a frown was formed on my forehead and a question popped up in my mind, "Two traitors?"She explained that one was Judas Iscariot as we know and another one was surprisedly Saint Peter. It gradually made sense to me as he had promised Our Lord that he would not leave Him before three times denial. Even after Lord's Ascension, Saint Peter fled from Rome during the persecution. But he met Lord Jesus on the way and regretted his action. Then, he made a resolve and returned to Rome to die as the martyr. He hurt Our Lord again and again yet he trusted in the mercy and love of God after every repentance. It is exactly like the Prodigal Son. So my friend described him as the hopeful sinner. On the other hand, Judas Iscariot did not believe in the mercy and love of God. So he went out and hanged himself after betraying Our Lord and regretting his actions. Thus, my friend described him as the hopeless sinner.

At this moment, I was gathering all memories of lessons I learnt from my journey. I learnt that God's love is unlimited yet equal for every person on the earth. Even one sin does not decrease God's love for us. God does not keep account of our achievements but rather looks at the desires of our hearts. It is about us. The point is, "Do we love God?" Like Saint Peter, even though he failed God so many times, he still made an effort to decide to love God and return to Him. As the result, he became our first Pope of Catholic Church. For Judas, he failed to see the love of God due to the darkness of his sins blinding him and headed for the door of death. Have we made a decision to love God? Or do we want to continue to be blind and not trusting in the mercy and love of God? When I asked my spiritual director about the certain religious order, I remembered him telling me, "We are sinners yet called. Everyone looks at the Saints as the Saints but they don't describe themselves as the saints but rather the sinners."

Let me share another interesting story: Father Amoun of Nitria once came to see Father Anthony (Saint Anthony the Great) and said to him, "Since my rule is stricter than yours, how is it that your name is better known than mine is?" The latter answered, "It is because I love God more than you."

So which one do you want to be: hopeful or hopeless?

Stop negativity!

Negativity is dangerously contagious. It can inflect the whole group and bring them down altogether. As I learnt painfully, it can be self inflicted too. We must remove it away from our hearts before someone gets hurt.

"Take heed not to foster thy own judgment, for, without doubt, it will inebriate thee; as there is no difference between an intoxicated man and one full of his own opinion, and one is no more capable of reasoning than the other."

Saint Francis de Sales

Commitment

"Let this be the first rule, shared by all of you, that no one should weaken in the firmness of his commitment to the way of life he has chosen. He should strive always to increase his commitment to this undertaking as if he were just starting out, especially, because human life, compared to eternity, is very short."

Anthony of the Desert

I sensed the fatigue of my eagerness. I used to be very excited about anything I wanted to do especially the Catholic spirituality. Now, I am feeling lethargic. Perhaps it is true that the feelings can change. But a scary thought forced me to stand back and look at the meaning of commitment: What if it happens in the marriage too? What if I feel sluggish about my commitment to my to-be-spouse after few years' marriage? And the same for the marriage with God. Oh no, I do not dare to move one beyond this wild running thought.

But I am beginning to think that the commitment is also the decision. Once I make the decision, I have to stand firm and carry it out no matter what. I recently met the couple. The wife is at least six years older than the husband. Now, they just welcomed their few weeks old daughter into this world. Their steadfast love is admirable. What inspired me is their decision to commit themselves to each other. It is the same for me to commit all my life to God alone. Once I have decided to serve Him with all my heart, mind and strength, I have to commit all my life to Him. It is the same way for studies and work. Thankfully, now my eagerness comes back.

Celibacy

Yes, I love celibacy. How about you?

Celibacy is a decision. Love is also the decision. Both are compatible with each other. Without love, there is no celibacy. Without celibacy, there is no love. I have decided to love the celibacy because I want to maintain healthy relationships with everyone. How about you?

The greatest gift

"Dear friends, let us love one another, because love comes from God. Whoever loves is a child of God and knows God." (1 John 4:7)

What is the use of having knowledge if you do not have wisdom? But what is the use of having wisdom if you do not have love? Perfect love comes from God. Love God with all your heart, mind and strength; and then you will possess everything as Saint Bonaventure wrote, "If you learn everything except Christ, you learn nothing. If you learn nothing except Christ, you learn everything."

Prayer bores you?

"O God, remind me each morning of Your constant love,

for I put my trust in You.

My prayers go up to you;

show me the way I should go."

(Psalm 143:8)

If you find prayer boring, it is because you do not appreciate God who loves you so much that He was willing to die on the wood for you!

Luck

Good luck?

I never believe in luck. There is no such thing. It is only the superstition. I only believe in the blessings from the Lord's Providence. For the Lord can do anything. He is very powerful! He can give whatever He wants. He can take whatever He wants! Oh, blessed be the name of the Lord! Bless the Lord, my soul!

“Order your soul; reduce your wants; live in charity; associate in Christian community; obey the laws; trust in Providence.” 

Saint Augustine