It has been a while since my last post. I was so engrossed in my school works and trainings. I had sometimes been playing computer games with few classmates too. Well, it is time for me to abort those hobbies because I have been neglecting the prayers and trainings. I just finished the examinations. So I must become more serious now because I have seven months left to the graduation show. There will be a lot of works to do for the final year project. I am afraid that I must change my usual self in order to focus on my spirituality and school projects. Hmm... I think I have become anti-social or something because I realized that I had been so lonely those days. But I value the real friendships. Not the "false" friends whom you can find and add randomly in those popular websites like Friendster and Facebook etc. Neither the ones you can befriend anyhow. Maybe I can say that I value the trust and honesty. I am not sure whether I got this genre from my parents as they have few friends too. And I am not sure whether it is right or wrong. I do admit that I am feeling very uncomfortable with the feeling of being lonely. But I am afraid that I have to stop helping my classmates so that they can stand on their own feet. I will lend a hand when I think I am needed.
There is a saying, "Love is unconditioned. So you can't say, "I love you because..." Love has no reason. Love has no condition. Love comes from God." From this point, I was forced to rethink about my expectations of the dream girl. Yes, it is true that everyone cannot control the love and treat their respective lovers as the objects. But I am very afraid of the divorce as I have my own limits. My parents are separated although they share the same roof. My mum said they were divorced but my father said it was not true. So I have to be picky about my dream girl. But this girl has been amazing me in some ways though she is not my perfect girl yet. I cannot stop the haunting thoughts of her flashing in my mind whenever I go to bed. She is nice and mature in her own way. I like her but at the same time I want her to meet her Mr Right. However, sometimes I would feel a bit jealous whenever I see her with a boy. Is it unconditioned love?
